Starting mid-November, ending mid-December:
ALL THE SHOWS I THINK YOU SHOULD WATCH!
It began with Homeland, and now it's blossoming into a full-blown monthstravaganza. In the mischievous yet pensive words of Doc Brown, "I figured...what the heck?"
16 November 2011
15 November 2011
You Should Be Watching Homeland If You Aren't Already
It's online anywhere you look, guys, and it's amazing. Claire Danes plays a CIA agent - who may be going crazy - who finds out that an American POW has been turned. Cut to Damian Lewis, newly freed American POW, who acts suspicious and has red hair. Throw in a little wacky-jazz, some low-tech surveillance reminiscent of The Conversation, and a whole lotta Mandy Patinkin. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? Go! Go now!
photo courtesy of Showtime (www.sho.com)
photo courtesy of Showtime (www.sho.com)
14 November 2011
Abra Chupacadabra!
Is anyone else's DVR totally screwing them over for Walking Dead lately? My roommates and I checked it at 8:45 last night to make sure it was still set to record at 9 (we suffered too much heartache last week when this happened), and it STILL didn't record. It didn't even pretend to have an unresolved conflict. Like so many pre-zombies, it just died. Is this an allegory for the show? Is the show an allegory for modern cable-based technology? We're all going to die unfairly someday. Isn't that enough?
Last night's episode, "Chupacabra," dealt with women doing unexplainable things. Glenn asks Dale if all the women have synched up -- Maggie won't have sex with him a second time; Lori cries and cries, just because she's pregnant in an obstetricianless world; Sophia keeps dropping dolls and pillows as clues but never seems to be findable near them; and don't even get me started on Andrea. WOMEN.
The episode starts in a stopped-up lane of traffic several weeks ago, where Lori and Shane watch Atlanta get nuked. It's the moment they realize things will never be fine again. If they're bombing Atlanta, the people in charge must be really pessimistic (probably a bunch of women). It's hard to say what this flashback has to do with the rest of the episode, but I have faith that I'll be bringing it all around by the end.
At present, it's a day for disobeying Hershel. First Daryl borrows one of his horses without asking, and then one of Hershel's sons volunteers for gun-heavy work without his father's go ahead. The womenfolk have the gall to cook a thank-you dinner in Hershel's very own kitchen. All of this frustration will most likely lead to Hershel kicking our gang out of his farm, as well it should. They're starting to act like they own the place (and the horses, and the daughters), and they'll probably be the downfall of Safe Haven Farms. But what makes Hershel so sure that they won't turn on him and stage a coup? He's old and he hates guns. If he's indoctrinated his children against guns too, it could be very easy for Rick's group to turn into pirates - the very kind of people any nice group of survivors would avoid at all costs - and to take his land. Will Hershel turn Rick into the King of the Savages?*
The real star of "Chupacabra" is old Daryl 'One Man Show' Dixon. After stealing a horse from Hershel, Daryl sets off looking for Sophia yet again. Only this time, his nervous horse sees a rattlesnake and makes a break for it, leaving Daryl to roll down a very steep, woodsy hill and to completely impale himself with a crossbow arrow. Questions: Why does he only have that one arrow with him? Did the others fly off and break during the fall? Why is Georgia like this, with the steep, woodsy hills? God, at least he didn't fall into a kudzu gulch. He'd be buried alive in there, and he might not be the only one!!
True to form, Daryl immediately tries climbing back up with the arrow lodged in his side. Again he falls, even worse this time, and he passes out to the tune of Merle Dixon's cocky ramblings. This vision of Merle wants Daryl to succeed, so he taunts our hero all the way to safety. First he shakes Daryl's foot, waking him to the very real zombie gnawing on his shoe. (DID HE GET BITTEN? I ASSUME NOT, BUT DID HE?!) He then teases Daryl about leaving the arrow in the wound, prompting him to take it out and use it on a second looming zombie's head. Finally, he noogies him all the way up the original steep, woodsy hill. Thanks, Merle. All your ceaseless bullying has finally paid off.
And now we get to Andrea, the Queen of Cloudy-headed Women, who would rather shoot guns 'n' wrassle snakes than cook in the kitchen with the other ladies. She's the first one at the farm to sight Daryl, and since he looks like shit, she assumes he's a zombie. Naturally the glaring late-afternoon Georgia sun blocks Daryl's face in her binoculars. Rick, Shane, and Dale suggest she not shoot him, since it's loud and a waste of bullets and not a great weapon if you want to identify the thing you're about to kill. They even lower their own weapons as they get nearer to Daryl, giving Andrea copious visual cues that this is not a zombie. But no. She shoots him anyway and grazes his face. Thank you so much, Andrea. We couldn't have not done it without you!
Lucky for Glenn, Maggie wants to have sex again after all. Unlucky for Glenn, she lets him choose the spot (because he has such a majestic grasp of the farm's available spots). He chooses the mysterious barn, which Hershel banned Rick from a few episodes ago. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Or about 6 or 7 from the looks of it). We live in a zombieful worlllllllld!
Circling back - what does that opening scene have to do with the rest of the episode? In the former situation, Lori and Shane watch their hope for refuge get bombed beyond recognition (although we had no trouble recognizing Atlanta in Season 1); in the latter, Lori and Shane (and everyone else) watch as their new hope for non-nomadic living disappears. And just like those women in the control tower who set off the nukes, it is the women of Rick's group - and their craziness - that destroy the chance to stay in their new home. That's quite a stretch, though.
*Graphic novel says no.
all photos courtesy amctv.com
Last night's episode, "Chupacabra," dealt with women doing unexplainable things. Glenn asks Dale if all the women have synched up -- Maggie won't have sex with him a second time; Lori cries and cries, just because she's pregnant in an obstetricianless world; Sophia keeps dropping dolls and pillows as clues but never seems to be findable near them; and don't even get me started on Andrea. WOMEN.
The episode starts in a stopped-up lane of traffic several weeks ago, where Lori and Shane watch Atlanta get nuked. It's the moment they realize things will never be fine again. If they're bombing Atlanta, the people in charge must be really pessimistic (probably a bunch of women). It's hard to say what this flashback has to do with the rest of the episode, but I have faith that I'll be bringing it all around by the end.
At present, it's a day for disobeying Hershel. First Daryl borrows one of his horses without asking, and then one of Hershel's sons volunteers for gun-heavy work without his father's go ahead. The womenfolk have the gall to cook a thank-you dinner in Hershel's very own kitchen. All of this frustration will most likely lead to Hershel kicking our gang out of his farm, as well it should. They're starting to act like they own the place (and the horses, and the daughters), and they'll probably be the downfall of Safe Haven Farms. But what makes Hershel so sure that they won't turn on him and stage a coup? He's old and he hates guns. If he's indoctrinated his children against guns too, it could be very easy for Rick's group to turn into pirates - the very kind of people any nice group of survivors would avoid at all costs - and to take his land. Will Hershel turn Rick into the King of the Savages?*
The real star of "Chupacabra" is old Daryl 'One Man Show' Dixon. After stealing a horse from Hershel, Daryl sets off looking for Sophia yet again. Only this time, his nervous horse sees a rattlesnake and makes a break for it, leaving Daryl to roll down a very steep, woodsy hill and to completely impale himself with a crossbow arrow. Questions: Why does he only have that one arrow with him? Did the others fly off and break during the fall? Why is Georgia like this, with the steep, woodsy hills? God, at least he didn't fall into a kudzu gulch. He'd be buried alive in there, and he might not be the only one!!
True to form, Daryl immediately tries climbing back up with the arrow lodged in his side. Again he falls, even worse this time, and he passes out to the tune of Merle Dixon's cocky ramblings. This vision of Merle wants Daryl to succeed, so he taunts our hero all the way to safety. First he shakes Daryl's foot, waking him to the very real zombie gnawing on his shoe. (DID HE GET BITTEN? I ASSUME NOT, BUT DID HE?!) He then teases Daryl about leaving the arrow in the wound, prompting him to take it out and use it on a second looming zombie's head. Finally, he noogies him all the way up the original steep, woodsy hill. Thanks, Merle. All your ceaseless bullying has finally paid off.
And now we get to Andrea, the Queen of Cloudy-headed Women, who would rather shoot guns 'n' wrassle snakes than cook in the kitchen with the other ladies. She's the first one at the farm to sight Daryl, and since he looks like shit, she assumes he's a zombie. Naturally the glaring late-afternoon Georgia sun blocks Daryl's face in her binoculars. Rick, Shane, and Dale suggest she not shoot him, since it's loud and a waste of bullets and not a great weapon if you want to identify the thing you're about to kill. They even lower their own weapons as they get nearer to Daryl, giving Andrea copious visual cues that this is not a zombie. But no. She shoots him anyway and grazes his face. Thank you so much, Andrea. We couldn't have not done it without you!
Lucky for Glenn, Maggie wants to have sex again after all. Unlucky for Glenn, she lets him choose the spot (because he has such a majestic grasp of the farm's available spots). He chooses the mysterious barn, which Hershel banned Rick from a few episodes ago. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Or about 6 or 7 from the looks of it). We live in a zombieful worlllllllld!
Circling back - what does that opening scene have to do with the rest of the episode? In the former situation, Lori and Shane watch their hope for refuge get bombed beyond recognition (although we had no trouble recognizing Atlanta in Season 1); in the latter, Lori and Shane (and everyone else) watch as their new hope for non-nomadic living disappears. And just like those women in the control tower who set off the nukes, it is the women of Rick's group - and their craziness - that destroy the chance to stay in their new home. That's quite a stretch, though.
*Graphic novel says no.
all photos courtesy amctv.com
09 November 2011
Cherokee Rose: The Trail Of Zombie Tears
This Sunday, The Walking Dead inched closer to a climax that we've all been waiting for since first meeting Farmer Hershel, but it never got there. Further than that, I ain't sayin' nuttin'. Except this: Hershel Greene is the Jewiest name ever for a Southern Baptist farmer. Old MacGoyisheKop over here! OHHHHH!!!
I was reading the graphic novel last week in preparation for this episode, hoping that I'd be able to lessen the amount of physical trembling I'd inevitably go through. In the end I was as petrified as ever (waiting in vain for it all to go down), but I learned something in the meantime: we've completely skipped a section. Granted, lots of plot points diverge between the comic and the show, but typically the broad strokes remain the same. Perhaps you've heard the (semi)famous anecdote about Kirkman simply not realizing at the time that the CDC is in Atlanta. Instead of visiting our national biomedical emergency center, the comic book characters try living in a gated community for a few days. Man, I would've liked to see that. In the immortal words of that kid taxi driver who propositions Dottie in A League of Their Own, "Can't we do both?"
But let's get back to the things that actually do happen in "Cherokee Rose," the fourth installment of the second season. Surprise surprise, Sophia (HER NAME ACTUALLY MEANS "WISE"; HOW FOOLISH!) is still lost. Carl's doing a little better, now that he's had life-saving surgery and Lori has stopped trying to mercy-kill him (at least for now). She finally has time to focus on the little zygote growing in her belly, whose existence demands confirmation. Lori scribbles "pregnancy test" in a made-up Secret Friend Language and gives her order to Glenn, both verbally and in writing, so that he'll grab one from the pharmacy up the road. Skipping ahead, Lori ends up peeing on the test outside in the dark - she REALLY wants to keep this a secret. The thing is, Rick wouldn't have followed her in if she had gone to the bathroom to do it. He doesn't seem like a co-pee husband. Thus, we have proof that Lori is going crazy and will need to be dispatched with soon.
Glenn goes to the abandoned pharmacy up the road with Maggie, Hershel's youngest daughter. They "fall in love" right there in the aisle, and so do their horses as they wait outside. Then they do a huge double-wedding out in town square, with tons of zombies on Glenn's side and tons of farmers or something on Maggie's, and it's so cute because when she tosses the bouquet, all the zombies swarm on it like it's human flesh, and when they find out it's not, they get really riled up. Big mistake, newlyweds!!!!!! They escape but foolishly keep the "Just Married" cans on the back of their car. It attracts zombies from miles around.
At Hershel's, the gang finds a nasty bloated zombie at the bottom of a well. It looks like Behemoth from The Nightmare Before Christmas but with less wondrous eyes.
In an effort to keep the water supply uninfected, everybody decides to pull the zombie up while it's still alive. Obviously the brace buckles, and Glenn falls within foot-biting distance of Zombehemoth. No no no no!!!!!!! In the end, Glenn dodges all potential foot-bites and, in fact, gets the rope securely around the zombie's fat, disgusting head. In the end it's all for nothing, because Fatass breaks in half and ruins the well water anyway. I must say, this is a surprise - I thought for sure that this zombie would need to be kept "alive" for a specific reason. But I ain't sayin' nuttin'. Except this: I'm bewildered and pleased that Zombehemoth hasn't yet begun to haunt my dreams.
Daryl finds a flower?
That's just about the long and short of the episode. And oh yeah, Hershel hates guns. Hershel Green, the Christian farmer, hates guns. Still sounds prettttttttttty Jewish to me.
Production stills courtesy amctv.com
PS The high school from last week is Newnan High School. Basically diametrically opposite my hometown in relation to Atlanta. OK, I GET IT WALKING DEAD. I'M NOT A CHARACTER IN YOU.
I was reading the graphic novel last week in preparation for this episode, hoping that I'd be able to lessen the amount of physical trembling I'd inevitably go through. In the end I was as petrified as ever (waiting in vain for it all to go down), but I learned something in the meantime: we've completely skipped a section. Granted, lots of plot points diverge between the comic and the show, but typically the broad strokes remain the same. Perhaps you've heard the (semi)famous anecdote about Kirkman simply not realizing at the time that the CDC is in Atlanta. Instead of visiting our national biomedical emergency center, the comic book characters try living in a gated community for a few days. Man, I would've liked to see that. In the immortal words of that kid taxi driver who propositions Dottie in A League of Their Own, "Can't we do both?"
But let's get back to the things that actually do happen in "Cherokee Rose," the fourth installment of the second season. Surprise surprise, Sophia (HER NAME ACTUALLY MEANS "WISE"; HOW FOOLISH!) is still lost. Carl's doing a little better, now that he's had life-saving surgery and Lori has stopped trying to mercy-kill him (at least for now). She finally has time to focus on the little zygote growing in her belly, whose existence demands confirmation. Lori scribbles "pregnancy test" in a made-up Secret Friend Language and gives her order to Glenn, both verbally and in writing, so that he'll grab one from the pharmacy up the road. Skipping ahead, Lori ends up peeing on the test outside in the dark - she REALLY wants to keep this a secret. The thing is, Rick wouldn't have followed her in if she had gone to the bathroom to do it. He doesn't seem like a co-pee husband. Thus, we have proof that Lori is going crazy and will need to be dispatched with soon.
Glenn goes to the abandoned pharmacy up the road with Maggie, Hershel's youngest daughter. They "fall in love" right there in the aisle, and so do their horses as they wait outside. Then they do a huge double-wedding out in town square, with tons of zombies on Glenn's side and tons of farmers or something on Maggie's, and it's so cute because when she tosses the bouquet, all the zombies swarm on it like it's human flesh, and when they find out it's not, they get really riled up. Big mistake, newlyweds!!!!!! They escape but foolishly keep the "Just Married" cans on the back of their car. It attracts zombies from miles around.
At Hershel's, the gang finds a nasty bloated zombie at the bottom of a well. It looks like Behemoth from The Nightmare Before Christmas but with less wondrous eyes.
In an effort to keep the water supply uninfected, everybody decides to pull the zombie up while it's still alive. Obviously the brace buckles, and Glenn falls within foot-biting distance of Zombehemoth. No no no no!!!!!!! In the end, Glenn dodges all potential foot-bites and, in fact, gets the rope securely around the zombie's fat, disgusting head. In the end it's all for nothing, because Fatass breaks in half and ruins the well water anyway. I must say, this is a surprise - I thought for sure that this zombie would need to be kept "alive" for a specific reason. But I ain't sayin' nuttin'. Except this: I'm bewildered and pleased that Zombehemoth hasn't yet begun to haunt my dreams.
Daryl finds a flower?
That's just about the long and short of the episode. And oh yeah, Hershel hates guns. Hershel Green, the Christian farmer, hates guns. Still sounds prettttttttttty Jewish to me.
Production stills courtesy amctv.com
PS The high school from last week is Newnan High School. Basically diametrically opposite my hometown in relation to Atlanta. OK, I GET IT WALKING DEAD. I'M NOT A CHARACTER IN YOU.
05 November 2011
The Best Part Of Jimmy Kimmel's "Kids I Ate Your Candy" Thing
The best part of Jimmy Kimmel's Halloween call for parents to prank their kids is definitely these two brothers at the end:
The older one might as well be Danny McBride and the younger one is the best improviser I've seen in years. Youuuuuuu SNEAKY Mom! Somebody bring me these children!
The older one might as well be Danny McBride and the younger one is the best improviser I've seen in years. Youuuuuuu SNEAKY Mom! Somebody bring me these children!
04 November 2011
Save The Last One (For Friday)
Zombies and Gentlezombies,
Sunday's Walking Dead episode begins with a pensive Shane shaving his head next to a hot running shower. Why is he shaving? Why is he pensive? And why does he insist on wasting so much water every single episode? To find out, we must first turn back the sands of time.
Shane and Otis are still stuck in school, but now they're sprinting away from the copious zombies they attracted in the parking lot. Remember how I suggested that each of these postzombiepocalyptic scenarios is a potentially solvable puzzle? This puzzle is now a shitshow. Not only do Shane and Otis suffer bad falls, but they're also carrying extra weight now that they've fetched Hershel's supplies. At this point they're both limping as slowly as the zombies 5 feet behind them are staggering. Ohhhhh no.
Back at the ranch (Hershel's farm), Carl wakes up only to go into shock from all the pain he now realizes he's in. Rick is helpless, so he keeps trying to give blood. Lori is helpless, period. Hershel needs their go-ahead to operate on Carl without the special supplies, but Lori hesitates because she might just want Carl to die. Hey, some common ground! Welcome, Lori, to my den of wishing Carl dead! But wait. Is this a huge mistake? Should I be inviting Carl into my den of wishing Lori dead? And more importantly, do they have a den about me? Where do I fit in all of this? Doesn't anyone care if I want Carl to go through surgery?!
Lori thinks he would be better off dying in his sleep than in 1,000 zombies' mouths. I tend to agree, but I also understand that this mindset is no way to fortify a zombie-survivor story. Choosing to live is the prevalent theme throughout the episode, and everyone wonders why exactly they're choosing it.
Daryl takes Andrea through the woods to look for Sofia in the dark, where she'll definitely be out in the open and easily visible. They come across a [spoiler?] zombie in a noose tied to a tree, where he hanged himself as a bitten human. He chose to die, a decision Dale took away from Andrea back at the end of Season 1. And although she's more or less off suicide watch, she's still clueless as to why she's living. Daryl shoots the zombie in the head and wastes a cross-arrow to learn her a lesson: Don't waste your time and energy on a harmless moron. Does this relate to choosing to live? Maybe you should let people who want to kill themselves kill themselves. PS, Daryl got lost in the woods for a full week when he was 9? Damn, son. Note to everyone: when the Zombiepocalypse comes, find a Daryl.
And so Lori contemplates Carl's reason for living, Andrea contemplates her own, and [spoiler again [although the entire blog has a spoiler alert on top, so come on]] Shane contemplates Otis's. In Shane's mind, it all adds up to 2 slowpokes dying along with Carl OR 1 slowpoke dying and the other saving Carl's life (plus his own, tee hee oopsie!). Shane gives it to Otis in the leg so he can become zombie bait, leaving Shane to escape and be a hero. OR IS HE? Either way, the puzzle is solved.
More Thoughts on the Episode's Theme:
The theme (choosing to live) presents a great question. Why would one choose to keep living when all hope is lost? It's not like you can return to the days of electricity, running water, and edible food (unless you're Hershel and you have your own generator, underground water system, and cow pasture). You're stuck in a very harsh world, and in this case there are zombies at every turn trying to eat you no matter what you do! Why run from death when it's the only sure thing in your life?
There are a few ways to approach the dilemma: First of all, if you're in this situation, you are one of the random, lucky few who didn't die in the immediate apocalyptic event. Doesn't that suggest that, in this topsy-turvy world, luck might mean something and you might keep having it? Second, you owe it to the other survivors to keep going. They can't live alone. They need the collective "you," and theoretically they've decided to live for a good reason. Can you honestly contribute to killing them as well? Third, everyone wants to keep humanity going, right? Right? Humans are great, right? Stuff it, we will keep living here until the moon nukes us with green cheese. AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A CHEESE PARTY! STUFF IT, EXTINCTION!
all photos courtesy amctv.com
26 October 2011
(Blood)Let The "Bloodletting" Commence
At home this weekend for my mom's birthday, I realized that it's much scarier watching The Walking Dead in Atlanta than in New York. Instead of poshly-furnished apartments outside the window, all you can see is pitch-black forest. No ambient city noises resound, amplifying each muted creeaaaaak that drifts up from the basement steps for whatever terrifying reason. Not to mention, most of the zombies we've seen in Walking Dead have technically been Atlantans. It's scarier than watching Poltergeist in a teepee. Small Becky Big Scared.
The episode begins back before the Zombiepocalypse, when Lori had to tell Carl that his father Rick was shot in the line of duty. Thank goodness for the primer, because now we REALLY understand the irony of Rick having to tell Lori that Carl has been shot. Standing too close to mythical bucks is a demanding line of work, Mom, and I can't stop now. Why can't women get it through their thick skulls?! Men have to put themselves in danger, if only for vainglory! This theme constantly weighs down on Mr. & Mrs. Grimes: If women have no problem staying with their families to keep them safe, what makes it ok for men to run off looking for adventure? Yet if nobody's out looking for adventure, what kind of outer world can we expect, and how are we to protect our own?
Back at van camp, Dale realizes that T-Dog needs antibiotics and painkillers for his butterflied forearm. Lacking the meds, Dale treats him to a few folksy anecdotes instead. It does just the trick! Full of women, Daryl's search party soon turns into a catfight about certain people's sisters turning into zombies. Andrea grumbles to her companion until she realizes it's a lumbering walker, content to walk alongside her and her grumblings forever. Although it's the only zombie kill in the episode, at least the guy takes a while to die.
I haven't even mentioned the entirely new set of characters we meet in this episode. It turns out the Big Buckhunter is from Hershel's* Farm, where an old Jewish(?) farmer and his remaining children are holed up. They've got horses and everything, and they'll be fixing up Carl's chest wound (not dead, fart). Hershel's daughter Maggie rides out to Darryl's group and brings Lori back with her, and for the rest of the episode, I marvel at how much I hate Lori. She's so overdramatic. She's got terrible priorities as a mother. She raised Carl, for Pete's sake! If the fruit's weird, you can bet the tree is even weirder. And if people don't already say that, they should.
*Hershel is played by Scott Wilson, who has amazing credentials (his second role was one of the In Cold Blood killers) and is also one of the only Atlanta-born-and-raised actors in the cast. He is now my barometer for the rest of the accents on the show.
In order to do proper surgery on Carl, Herschel needs a few extra supplies (and a lot of anesthesia) from a high school-turned-military base nearby. I wonder which Atlanta-area high school it's supposed to be. Grady? Druid Hills? Paideia? I wonder which of these zombies in the parking lot used to be MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or more accurately, I wonder which of these Inside-the-Perimeter zombies used to be my main competition in intrastate Quiz Bowl competitions. WHO'S SMARTER NOW, JERKS? WHO WINS BEST SPORTSMANSHIP NOW?
Otis, the huge guy who'd accidentally shot Carl (along with a sizeable-enough deer to feed the survivors for a week...so thank you for complaining even more, Lori), leads Shane on the high school expedition. Said parking lot is full of zombies, and until Shane and Otis throw flares across the lot to distract them, I'm positive they're goners. So many situations look completely impossible until some guy comes up with one bright idea -- it reminds me both of video games and of the justification of mankind's dominion over beastdom. Each day in a Zombiepocalypse is a new puzzle. The surprise is that quite a few of the puzzles are solvable.
And so we wait for next week to find out if they'll ever find Dummy, if Carl will survive surgery, and if the surgery can even happen, considering Shane and Otis are trapped at school. Who knows, maybe they'll be alright 'cause they're saved by the bell? SAVED BY THE BELL!! Needeloo-needel-oo-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-uh!
all photos courtesy amctv.com
The episode begins back before the Zombiepocalypse, when Lori had to tell Carl that his father Rick was shot in the line of duty. Thank goodness for the primer, because now we REALLY understand the irony of Rick having to tell Lori that Carl has been shot. Standing too close to mythical bucks is a demanding line of work, Mom, and I can't stop now. Why can't women get it through their thick skulls?! Men have to put themselves in danger, if only for vainglory! This theme constantly weighs down on Mr. & Mrs. Grimes: If women have no problem staying with their families to keep them safe, what makes it ok for men to run off looking for adventure? Yet if nobody's out looking for adventure, what kind of outer world can we expect, and how are we to protect our own?
Back at van camp, Dale realizes that T-Dog needs antibiotics and painkillers for his butterflied forearm. Lacking the meds, Dale treats him to a few folksy anecdotes instead. It does just the trick! Full of women, Daryl's search party soon turns into a catfight about certain people's sisters turning into zombies. Andrea grumbles to her companion until she realizes it's a lumbering walker, content to walk alongside her and her grumblings forever. Although it's the only zombie kill in the episode, at least the guy takes a while to die.
I haven't even mentioned the entirely new set of characters we meet in this episode. It turns out the Big Buckhunter is from Hershel's* Farm, where an old Jewish(?) farmer and his remaining children are holed up. They've got horses and everything, and they'll be fixing up Carl's chest wound (not dead, fart). Hershel's daughter Maggie rides out to Darryl's group and brings Lori back with her, and for the rest of the episode, I marvel at how much I hate Lori. She's so overdramatic. She's got terrible priorities as a mother. She raised Carl, for Pete's sake! If the fruit's weird, you can bet the tree is even weirder. And if people don't already say that, they should.
*Hershel is played by Scott Wilson, who has amazing credentials (his second role was one of the In Cold Blood killers) and is also one of the only Atlanta-born-and-raised actors in the cast. He is now my barometer for the rest of the accents on the show.
In order to do proper surgery on Carl, Herschel needs a few extra supplies (and a lot of anesthesia) from a high school-turned-military base nearby. I wonder which Atlanta-area high school it's supposed to be. Grady? Druid Hills? Paideia? I wonder which of these zombies in the parking lot used to be MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or more accurately, I wonder which of these Inside-the-Perimeter zombies used to be my main competition in intrastate Quiz Bowl competitions. WHO'S SMARTER NOW, JERKS? WHO WINS BEST SPORTSMANSHIP NOW?
Otis, the huge guy who'd accidentally shot Carl (along with a sizeable-enough deer to feed the survivors for a week...so thank you for complaining even more, Lori), leads Shane on the high school expedition. Said parking lot is full of zombies, and until Shane and Otis throw flares across the lot to distract them, I'm positive they're goners. So many situations look completely impossible until some guy comes up with one bright idea -- it reminds me both of video games and of the justification of mankind's dominion over beastdom. Each day in a Zombiepocalypse is a new puzzle. The surprise is that quite a few of the puzzles are solvable.
And so we wait for next week to find out if they'll ever find Dummy, if Carl will survive surgery, and if the surgery can even happen, considering Shane and Otis are trapped at school. Who knows, maybe they'll be alright 'cause they're saved by the bell? SAVED BY THE BELL!! Needeloo-needel-oo-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-uh!
all photos courtesy amctv.com
18 October 2011
The Walking Dead Is Back!
It's finally that time of year: ZOMBTOBER!!!!
As you know, Josh's short, Zombie in a Penguin Suit, is now on youtube, and it's taking the world by storm with over 28,000 views. Josh's film also harbingers the Season 2 premiere of Walking Dead on AMC, which took my living room by storm on Sunday night. I was so scared, I was SHIVERING! Atsa spicy cable zombie show!
The episode, "What Lies Ahead," starts a short time after Season 1 leaves off: Sheriff Grimes's gang of survivors has just declared the CDC dunzo, and now they've got to travel somewhere new in the hopes that civilization still exists somewhere. They choose a fort 125 miles away. All the commenters on nymag right now are like "anyone from the South knows to go straight to Fort Benning" but I'm like "...uhhhhhh?" I have no idea what that is. It's only 2 hours from where I grew up? This is a terrifying wake-up call for a girl who thought she knew what she would be doing in a Zombiepocalypse. She doesn't even know which FORTS are close by! (Becky in The Walking Dead: "Hey, we better head up to Fort...uh...Duquesne?")
On the road, Andrea the Blonde Would-Be-Love-Interest learns how to clean her gun from Shane the Brunette Would-Be-Rapist. This must be symbolic - she wants to learn to use a "gun," and he's already a certified genius at handling his own (in a dangerous way). Thus remnants of Darabont haunt us still. With Daryl leading the caravan on his high-handled motorbike, the gang quickly approaches a road block. First problem: how can they get around it? Second problem: how can they get all these abandoned cars out of the way? Third problem: Surely the dead people in these cars will be waking up V. soon. BUSTED!!!!!!
I shiver violently with dread as the gang searches the cars for food, clothing, and water. Shane finds a Poland Spring truck and acts like it contains infinity water, even though everyone JUST went hog wild at the CDC with that behavior. Any second now one of the survivors will carelessly pass an arm too close to a corpse's mouth, I just know it. The corpses will all wake up at once. We are all going to die.
Instead, Dale sights the beginnings of a herd (I prefer "horde") trickling into traffic while there's still time to hide, and soon it's clear that about a trillion zombies are going to march right into their caravan. Everyone has just enough time to roll under a car or slice their arm wide open and spill most of their blood. Andrea notices the Walkers as she sits next to the open RV window with the door open too, which is a great shot in the episode. Daryl saves Bloody Arm-Dog's life by covering them both with corpses, and Dale saves Andrea's life by tossing down a screwdriver from the roof - she can use it to stab a curious zombie repeatedly in the eye and forehead. Somehow everyone makes it.
Except of course for Dumb Girl, half of the Would-Be-Child-Couple (which would be a sliver of light in this cold, dark world), who peeks out from the car too fast and calls just TONS of attention to herself as she runs into the woods away from the two zombies that saw her. Didn't the horde JUST pass by? Wouldn't they ALL hear the commotion behind them and turn back around? Hordes form because bunches of zombies hear the same thing and all go towards it together. It's very likely that these zombies can all hear the girl screaming and trampling through the woods.
Rick pulls the zombies away from Dummy and takes care of them with nothing but a rock and good timing - easily the bossest thing Rick has ever done. Unfortunately, he's told the girl to run back to the road instead of having her wait for him right where she was perfectly hidden. She's lost, skittish, and dumb.
It takes every single survivor to search for Dumbelina, and they don't even find her. Instead Carl creeps up to a mythical buck and nearly touches its unicorn horn...when suddenly a gun blast shoots both of them!!! Hooray, no more Carl! Child actors beware: this blog will hurt your feelings. Carl sucks. He has an air of someone who spends all his time thinking about how to be himself. He looks like Carol should be his mom. Get 'em all out of here!
And so, after two Grimonologues (one to a radio, one to Jesus), we reach the end of the very long episode receiving the "sign" that Rick has been asking for: your son can and will die at any moment, just like everyone else. All bets are off, Grimey!
Just for you, here is a list of Zombie Rules as given by the Official AMC Walking Dead twitter back in September:
As you know, Josh's short, Zombie in a Penguin Suit, is now on youtube, and it's taking the world by storm with over 28,000 views. Josh's film also harbingers the Season 2 premiere of Walking Dead on AMC, which took my living room by storm on Sunday night. I was so scared, I was SHIVERING! Atsa spicy cable zombie show!
The episode, "What Lies Ahead," starts a short time after Season 1 leaves off: Sheriff Grimes's gang of survivors has just declared the CDC dunzo, and now they've got to travel somewhere new in the hopes that civilization still exists somewhere. They choose a fort 125 miles away. All the commenters on nymag right now are like "anyone from the South knows to go straight to Fort Benning" but I'm like "...uhhhhhh?" I have no idea what that is. It's only 2 hours from where I grew up? This is a terrifying wake-up call for a girl who thought she knew what she would be doing in a Zombiepocalypse. She doesn't even know which FORTS are close by! (Becky in The Walking Dead: "Hey, we better head up to Fort...uh...Duquesne?")
On the road, Andrea the Blonde Would-Be-Love-Interest learns how to clean her gun from Shane the Brunette Would-Be-Rapist. This must be symbolic - she wants to learn to use a "gun," and he's already a certified genius at handling his own (in a dangerous way). Thus remnants of Darabont haunt us still. With Daryl leading the caravan on his high-handled motorbike, the gang quickly approaches a road block. First problem: how can they get around it? Second problem: how can they get all these abandoned cars out of the way? Third problem: Surely the dead people in these cars will be waking up V. soon. BUSTED!!!!!!
I shiver violently with dread as the gang searches the cars for food, clothing, and water. Shane finds a Poland Spring truck and acts like it contains infinity water, even though everyone JUST went hog wild at the CDC with that behavior. Any second now one of the survivors will carelessly pass an arm too close to a corpse's mouth, I just know it. The corpses will all wake up at once. We are all going to die.
Instead, Dale sights the beginnings of a herd (I prefer "horde") trickling into traffic while there's still time to hide, and soon it's clear that about a trillion zombies are going to march right into their caravan. Everyone has just enough time to roll under a car or slice their arm wide open and spill most of their blood. Andrea notices the Walkers as she sits next to the open RV window with the door open too, which is a great shot in the episode. Daryl saves Bloody Arm-Dog's life by covering them both with corpses, and Dale saves Andrea's life by tossing down a screwdriver from the roof - she can use it to stab a curious zombie repeatedly in the eye and forehead. Somehow everyone makes it.
Except of course for Dumb Girl, half of the Would-Be-Child-Couple (which would be a sliver of light in this cold, dark world), who peeks out from the car too fast and calls just TONS of attention to herself as she runs into the woods away from the two zombies that saw her. Didn't the horde JUST pass by? Wouldn't they ALL hear the commotion behind them and turn back around? Hordes form because bunches of zombies hear the same thing and all go towards it together. It's very likely that these zombies can all hear the girl screaming and trampling through the woods.
Rick pulls the zombies away from Dummy and takes care of them with nothing but a rock and good timing - easily the bossest thing Rick has ever done. Unfortunately, he's told the girl to run back to the road instead of having her wait for him right where she was perfectly hidden. She's lost, skittish, and dumb.
It takes every single survivor to search for Dumbelina, and they don't even find her. Instead Carl creeps up to a mythical buck and nearly touches its unicorn horn...when suddenly a gun blast shoots both of them!!! Hooray, no more Carl! Child actors beware: this blog will hurt your feelings. Carl sucks. He has an air of someone who spends all his time thinking about how to be himself. He looks like Carol should be his mom. Get 'em all out of here!
And so, after two Grimonologues (one to a radio, one to Jesus), we reach the end of the very long episode receiving the "sign" that Rick has been asking for: your son can and will die at any moment, just like everyone else. All bets are off, Grimey!
Just for you, here is a list of Zombie Rules as given by the Official AMC Walking Dead twitter back in September:
Zombie Rule #1: Ability to run is based on the amount of time a zombie has been undead, and how much decay has set in.
Zombie Rule #2: Zombies decay but at a much slower rate than humans, and it's still possible to differentiate between young and old zombies.
Zombie Rule #3: Zombies are like lions: if they've eaten, you can walk by them without fear, but a pack of hungry zombies will attack you. (Good to know. Good to Know...)
Zombie Rule #4: The quickest speed of any zombie is a shambling run. see Night of theLiving Dead. NO sprinters exist. (Also good to know...)
Zombie Rule #5: Zombies are not dexterous. They cannot pick up or use any items more complex than a rock or a stick.
Zombie Rule #6: Zombies have poor eyesight but they do have a strong sense of smell.
Zombie Rule #7: Zombies cannot speak but can communicate by pack mentality. The herd tends to move together if they sight food. (Jeez!!! Crafty bastards...)
Zombie Rule #8: There is no overt recognition of people or places, there is a sense of familiarity that can dictate where a zombie moves.
Zombie Rule #9: There's no known cause of the zombie mutation, but it's suspected to be a virus or infection.
Zombie Rule #10: Once you're bitten you'll die and reanimate as a walker. How long it takes is related to the nature your bite.
all photos courtesy amc.com
14 October 2011
ZOMBIE IN A PENGUIN SUIT
7 MINUTES IN ZOMBIE HEAVEN
Over the past few months, Josh has been sneaking off to Boston to shoot a movie about a zombie in a penguin suit. It's finally ready for popular consumption, and I urge you to watch. It is the most spectacular zombie short I have ever seen. But don't take my word for it!
But do! Enjoy!!
PS Walking Dead season 2 premieres on Sunday. GET READY WORLD WE'RE ZOMBIFYING!
02 October 2011
Your Garlic Prayers Are Answered
How to Peel a Head of Garlic in Less Than 10 Seconds from SAVEUR.com on Vimeo.
Saveur figured out how to peel an entire head of garlic super fast! I haven't been this impressed since the take-off-your-shirt-in-one-fell-swoop trick (grab the opposite bottom corner and pull).
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