American Horror Story Recap: WHAT IS THIS, KNOTTY PINE???????

What Probably Happened On American Horror Story

After watching last week's Amhorst Coven and missing this week's, all I can say is I have a VERY excellent grasp of what's going on with the show:

A) We're all DYING to know who the next Supreme is (NOT), but the show hasn't brought us any closer to figuring out who she'll be. The search for the next Supreme seems to be the main thrust of the end of the season, but all I can make out lately is a hugely clogged toilet bowl with a Stevie Nicks shawl floating on top. In a world where dead people spring back up a week later, there's no real process of elimination. So we're still at square one, and all five options for Supreme (Zoe, Queenie, Nan, Emma Roberts, and Swampie Nicks) are still a possibility, even though I guess Nan is the only permanently dead one now. Oh wait, plus Headmistress Cordelia? So still five?

American Horror Story Recap: "The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks" & The Magical Bullshit I Just Went Through

Hi - don't freak out. It's me, Papa Legba. You might know me as Voodoo Satan, but I try not to go by that since it's so...I don't know, severe? Sure, I'm devilish, but c'mon. Look at me! You think every red-eyed person is evil? Go to an albino convention and see how far that opinion gets you. Do I demand a fresh, innocent baby soul every year? Yeah, ok, you got me there. But who DOESN'T? I live in a world between worlds - not quite human, not quite god - and the currency here happens to be innocent baby souls. And I happen to use them. Tell me you wouldn't do the same thing if you were me. You'd really just sit around, never even considering taking one baby soul? Oh ok, SURE.

A Phone Call For Keith Urban

 
A Phone Call For Keith Urban

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman entered their country-chic cottage in the Hollywood Hills, trailing laughter and late-afternoon sunlight behind them as they walked through the door.

"I think I'll make that salad we were talking about," said Nicole in a thick Australian accent as she made for the kitchen. "Y'know, the one with the walnuts?"