27 September 2009

A Defense of Tyra Banks


Although I can't chalk it all up to the writers' strike, the amount of America's Next Top Model marathons I watch is OFF THE CHARTS. There was nothing on tv for so many months in 2007-8, and there are so many cycles of antm, and there's SO much packed into each episode...it was the only reasonable alternative. Of course, I watched it insanely before the strike and god KNOWS I kept it going strong after the end. For this reason, I have a great idea of why Tyra Banks deserves more consideration than just the yuck face and snarky comment anybody would automatically make upon hearing her name. Here comes a defense of Tyra Banks.

First of all, yes, Tyra comes off as very full of herself. She's always using herself as an example for the girls, and she gets self-righteous to the point of screaming at least once every two or three cycles. This sort of thing would be totally out-of-control behavior for a normal person. It would be completely obnoxious for someone to act this way in the real world. That's why we have to remember that it's TYRA. She had to get to the position she's in today somehow. I mean, you know her name. Big Time. She set herself apart from normal people a long time ago. And by the way, she's not presenting herself this way in reality. She's presenting herself this way in reality tv. It's her name all over antm, and it's her name on the talk show. She might as well make it look like she's in charge.

Tyra got to where she is, by the way, by figuring out things for herself that worked. She smiles with her eyes. She improvises. She's definitely not afraid to look like a huge moron. She sells it. Every piece of advice she gives the competitors is clearly something she had to figure out for herself. In the world of modeling, she's freakin Einstein over here. If the show were America's Next Top Thinking Person, hosted by Genius McGee, I'd be surprised if I could bring myself to watch it once, nevermind in a series of marathons. In a modeling competition, I think I'd trust any advice Tyra Banks cared to throw me.

Have you ever seen Tyra in a tabloid, besides that super fat swimsuit picture? Have you heard her say something stupid outside of the bounds of her own shows? She's not looking for any more attention than she already gets. She doesn't comment on other celebrities, and I don't think I've ever known about her dating anyone (even though I found out from her True Hollywood Story that yes, she does date, and they don't seem to be losers). If you choose to tune into her stuff, you ought to expect what's coming. She'll give a LOT of unsolicited advice, and she'll make a fool of herself almost without fail. Then again, she is a (if not the) judge of antm, and at least she's willing to realize she's sort of a joke.

So on the surface, Tyra is a narcissistic, idiotic barbie. Obviously. You're not the first person to figure it out, and neither am I. If we could just look into the facade to evaluate the functionality of her personality, we find that she's not out there to offend anybody, but instead, she's there to distribute everything she can give. How wonderful would the world be if each of us could pick out someone truly annoying and find out that he or she serves a purpose that way. Don't be hatin- try appreciatin.