26 May 2009

No Future In Fronting

another poem, because that's how it has to be:

Watching Milk.

it rained when I drove,
sang to positive k.
I'm watching milk now
gay gay gay gay gay

long hair and beard
franco's eyes crinkle
here's something you'll like:
rocky bullwinkle

policemen and riots!
lemonade diets!

shave some hair off your face
make a necklace of lace

25 May 2009

Nobody Else Feels That Way

days four and five in atlanta:

sleep then no sleep
poop then no poop
I don't drive a jeep
and neither do youp.

ripped jeans become skirt
brown hair stays blonde
tv's as much comfort
as is a gorgon?

I could take out my bike
I could relearn guitar
ok I will - PSYCH

at least gas is cheap
I'll drive around maybe
pass tens of jeeps
in my sweet camry Gabey.

every ode as such
every ode that I've made
has a serious crush

who by the way, got detailed while I was away. a 96 camry never looked so good! DAMN!!

23 May 2009

This Is Not To Say That I Particularly Do Watch Dollhouse

but isn't it almost the exact same as the Pretender? In fact, isn't Alpha the pretender? Think it over, get back to me.

Besides that, my trip's half done and I went blonde. Hilarious observations on my new appearance and how people are responding to it? nope, none yet. But I'm hoping it'll get me a free soda refill or a job. Either way!

22 May 2009

Three Days, Three Ways, and Three Gays


Tomorrow I will go to the salon so that they might make my hair blonde. It's never been blonde before, only brown and dark brown. Sometimes gray. Long story short, my junk goes crazy tomorrow, and that crazy be FORM OF: YELLOW HAIR.

Besides that I got lost driving around atlanta for an hour and a half trying to find bitchface's house because somebody took the road map out of my car. I didn't even know my way around when I lived here.

Now all I need is a killer beach bod with a tan and brown contacts. I'll be a completely different person! Betty Abner, here I come!

21 May 2009

Update: I Watched the Pilot of Glee

and the best part was when the football guy is just playing drums suddenly at the end. Then he hands them back to the real drummer like "thanks for the skin time bro!" Skin time of course being what a capella singers call drum time.

PLUS I TRIMMED MY OWN HAIR. mistake? probably. was red wine involved? no, thank God.

Oh thank God.

Day Two: The Sequel

I bought some brushes at hobby lobby and got an emissions inspection.


future plans: take a shower. Make new future plan.

20 May 2009

The Beginning Of The Middle

Here begins my chronicle of a week in Atlanta.

"Planes, Trains, and Automobiles LITERALLY"
-I took a plane then a train then a car home from the train station
-I've got no more dog, no more dog.
-Good old $8.79 magnum of pinot grigio
-do you have to refrigerate pinot grigio? Will it go bad once you open it like vodka?
-Two of the quietest, keep-to-themselves people in the world sat next to me on the plane. What a dream!
-The jet engine I was positioned next to made stop-starty sputter noises throughout about a third of the trip. What a dream that is actually a nightmare!
-Not to mention I bought a hands-free headset for my 2005 mobile telephone...but I DID!
-Does manhattan miss me? I would miss it if only I hadn't already TAKEN it. Ya just got beck'd!

now for a series of words I have freely associated with this trip:
car alarm, tears, octopus on abc, hands free, headset, from target, planetrainyougetit, mom.

01 May 2009

Why A Cougar?

It's not unusual for you to be curious about me. "'A real cougar?' Just what is that? I feel like I know even less about you now than I did before!"

And so it's time. Time to get to know btm a little better.

Fact: I am not nearly that close to menopause.

Fact: I do not spend my weeknights in bars, buying drinks for highschool football stars.

Fact: I'm pretty sure I don't own any animal print bustiers.


Fact: I'm the older, wiser version of a younger girl's blog.

Fact: College is through.

Fiction: I don't wish I were back there at all!

Fact: It's high time I take Manhattan.

QED: Becklectic takes Manhattan, a real cougar of a blog!

iFart Video Commercial Contest - Happy New Year!

you really ought to watch this:

Atsa spicy app commercial!