Sigourney Weaver By Moonlight

Sigourney Weaver hosted SNL this week for the first time since 1986. She was the first host after the monstrous brat-pack '85-'86 cast, and she performed with the then-new regulars that I grew up with. Naturally, it was via reruns on comedy central, but The Cast as I first knew it was:

Dana Carvey
Nora Dunn
Phil Hartman
Jan Hooks
Victoria Jackson
Jon Lovitz
Dennis Miller
and the featured A. Whitney Brown and Kevin Nealon.

So how crazy is it that Sigourney literally escorted my favorites into their first episode together? That's mythological. That's...Acting, Thank You! I have to mention that I haven't ever seen this 1986 episode (I think I would've remembered that tie-over-a-bra combo), so I can't compare anything from the two. Except the monologue costume.

The night opened with Larry King addressing the late night talk show fiasco. I'm planning another post about what could possibly be appealing about Jay Leno because, as they say, inquiring minds want to know! And it's really not very obvious at all. Bill Hader played a great Serious Conan. Then Sigourney's monologue covered her fear of everything, including bras.

The first commercial parody of the night was Kenan Thompson's old-man-from-kenan-and-kel-does-sex-positions instructional video bit. What's usually funny about it is that both Kenan and his sex moves are completely, unarguably unsexual. This time around, sex peeked in around the edges of Sigourney's wig, and everything was really bawdy and took forever.

The ESPN lady games made another appearance, but this time it was dart throwing instead of bowling. The best part was when Sigourney threw all three darts at once and two landed in the board while the last landed lightly across the tops of the first two.

What I Liked In Laser Cats V:

• The justification of the Three Amigos poster in Lorne Michaels's office (it's the standard against which he measures all other films)
• After someone says "Ripley!", Sigourney says "Believe it or not."
• A string quartet played the ship (what ship?) down.

Is Jon Hamm back for more, or is that going to be a rerun? According to the internet, he's crawling back for more!

"Disco Booty Junction" opened with a Hey Jenny alert, but the sketch focused mainly on blonde disco duo, "Amber and Cream." I don't want to say it, but I also do want to, so I'll say it: I know what makes the good side of disco great. It's not two girls looking really scared as they sing. It's a pure lack of fear that leads to all of the mad shoulder bopping and closed-eyes believing. Look any member of Abba in the eye and let me know when you find even just a speck of fear. I will be waiting all day.

The Weekend Update Update:

• Seth Meyers's marriage metaphor of the late night debacle was both appropriate and further proof that Seth Meyers hates marriage. I'll be backing this up more eventually.
• Looks like Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice is ruling the commodities market again!
• A doctor wrote a book of a dead celebrity's medical secrets, and I can't remember if it was Michael Jackson or that guy with IBS in room 4.
  

After a shriveled-leg Avatar sketch (again, with the cues already), the Ben Stiller Show's Skank the sock puppet became Fred Armisen in the form of a rude teen named Riley. "You bitch," "shut your stinking trap"; it's all the same, and it's more fun to say than it is to hear.

Sigourney Weaver googled herself and had classy Georgia O'Keeffe prints in her hallway. Then she performed as the better half of "Fire and Rice," a married lounge act. Atop a piano, Jessica Fire was so scared of heights that she peed. This was Sigourney's second reference to incontinence, and it came right after she outed herself as a member of the I Need Help With Computers generation, but hey, she's a lot younger than most people her age, so mazel tov!

And without further ado, my favorite part of the show:

Jessica Fire's husband's name is Dante Rice.