Game of Thrones: "The Ghost of Harrenhal"
or, Next To You Guys, the Starks Look Like Rocket Scientists
Right at the top of the episode, Melisandre's Baby Skeletor glides into Renly's tent and stabs the crap out of his heart. So now it shall be known as canon that a priestess of this caliber can give birth to a shadow with the ability to turn smoke into a stabbing mechanism. We're screwed!
Renly dies, and Brienne's heart audibly breaks as Catelyn basically has to drag her away from all the guards who will be pursuing her. Little Finger has an identical scene with the Flower Siblings, and it's a pretty clear illustration of why Catelyn's so much better than him. They do the exact same thing and somehow Catelyn comes out like a hero and Little Finger comes out even more cowardly than before. And so, when Brienne offers to become Catelyn's bodyguard, I am extremely, extremely happy.
Bran's hanging out in Winterfell with nothing to do but rule over his brother's kingdom with utter grace and aplomb. To make another parallel, how much better is Bran at boy-kinging than Joffrey? It's not even a contest. Bran wins. How about once Robb starts ruling the North, Bran can rule King's Landing? I'd be ok with it.
Outside Westeros, Dany is Qarth's most eligible bachelorette. The weirdo alien king wants her to live at the House of Terrors or something, and Baron von Duck Sauce is through with love (he'll never fall again), so he wants to marry for politics and probably help himself to a dragon or two. Everyone wants these dragons. For obvious reasons, sure, but it's like, guys? Enough!
Also here is some woman that Jorah must've offended somehow. Oy.
Over in Harrenhal, Arya's been cruising through her kill list faster than I ever thought possible. I was expecting it to take years plus at least another primo fencing teacher. But nope, thanks to Jaqen H'ghar (who looks like a haggard Matt Bomer), Arya's list will shrink very quickly. Since she saved the three prisoners from the fire, he offers her three deaths in return. I hope those other two dudes she saved show up and offer her three lives too and then she'll get 9. Just saying, that would be cool. Within hours, Arya's first request - The Tickler - is dead in the street. And Jaqen's just like, A-WINKA!
PS Who was the ghost of Harrenhal? Probs Noseholes.
Mad Men: "At the Codfish Ball"
or, Free Sally Draper
Hahahahahahahahaha, I will never stop laughing, for you see, Grandma Pauline fell down. HaHA! And it's indirectly Glen Bishop's fault! Yes, hahaha, I can't breathe, we did it. Plus, this gets the kids over to Don's house where Megan's parents are visiting, so it all adds up to the fullest house on television since the Tanner residence.
Megan is getting better and better everyday. She comes up with a great idea for a Heinz commercial, she's great at juggling her nutso parents, and Don honestly seems more relaxed around her than he is with anyone else, including Peggy. This means she will die soon, and that makes me sad. I'm not saying that Mad Men is a full on soap opera, and of course Matt Weiner is a tricky guy sometimes, but I keep feeling intense dread whenever she comes onscreen. I like her too much. She's going to die.
So Megan saves the day (and the company) by feeding Don her pitch right before Heinz is about to fire SCDP. I think I'd like to marry Megan one day, too, if that's alright. I'd bring her breakfast in bed and she'd help me with my career. And I'd make sure she buckled up and looked both ways and NEVER, EVER DIED.
Pardon my redundancy, but Megan's parents are French Canadian weirdos. Her mother (Julia Ormond) is ridiculously off-balance and her father is a paranoid socialist. I fink they freeky and I like them a lot! Obviously so does Roger Sterling, that silver son of a bitch.
Don takes Sally and Megan and his in-laws to an award ceremony, where Roger treats Sally like his date. He has her collect his business cards and periodically say "Go get 'em, tiger." Following his lead, Sally tries eating codfish for the first time. This looks like the greatest pairing in the history of television UNTIL Roger sneaks away with Megan's mom, practically begging Sally to walk in on them in flagrante. Poor, poor Sally. You are obviously going to try this out as soon as possible on Glen, and I am going to throw up about it. This is the most terrible thing ever. He used to hand her Shirley Temples to taper off. Now he hands her miserable life experiences. "How's the city?" Glen asks. "Dirty," says Sally.
Always last and trying desperately not to be least, Peggy thinks Abe might be planning on proposing to her. Joan psychs her up about it, and Peggy dolls herself up in the most 1960s outfit imaginable. It is a sincere problem that there is not a picture of this outfit on the internet. She looks like those Laurence Welk Show singing sisters from SNL where the little one has vestigial teeth and hair and a baby arm growing out of her head. ALAS, Abe just wants to move in. But you know what? That's the best damn news Joan has heard all day. Good for you, Peggy!
Here Were the Power Punches:
-Roger Sterling's penis seems longer than average.
-What was once left of Sally's innocence is totally, completely gone.
-Daenerys's sexiest assets are her dragons.
-I wish Peggy's mom would have to wear that nosehole mask.
-Jaqen means business and so does Megan.
So I guess the power punches were actually Jaqen and Megan, who are great at TCB.
What is a power punch.
Photos courtesy AMCtv.com and HBO.
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