Wow, 400 posts and they're ALL about zombies??! That's quite a feat. Amazing work, Becklectic staff! They said there was only so much you could write about zombies...they said people would notice if you incorrectly attributed statistics...but they were wrong. [Walking] Dead wrong.
After a long yet instantaneous winter, the Walking Dead is back - and it throws us right back into the Brother vs. Brother cage match we were all so nervous about. Merle must kill Daryl to prove his loyalty to Woodbury, and all the townsfolk are like "KILL YOUR BROTHER! KILL YOUR BROTHER!" even though these people are specifically living here for the quaint, community-based lifestyle.
Merle kicks and punches his brother while Woodburians bring zombies into the pit to make everything scarier. Merle side-mouth whispers "I got this, little brother!" but his entire plan seems to be "fight Daryl then stop fighting Daryl & maybe they'll get confused." I guess it's a ruse? Merle's plans are hard to follow. Somehow it works, and the brothers march out of Woodbury with a pilfered crossbow for Daryl.
Maggie, Rick, and the Dixon Brothers leave a hole in the fence when they leave Woodbury, and a one-eyed zombie finds his way in. You know it's bad because the zombie waggles his eyebrows up and down while staring directly into the camera like "hubba hubba!!!" It does not bode well.
Back at the lime green SUV, Michonne and Glenn are less than thrilled to see Merle. "Hey everyone, remember when Merle was a miserable racist 100% of the time he was with us, and then remember how he recently threw a zombie into a locked room with Glenn while he was handcuffed to a chair? Maybe we shouldn't bring him back to camp," they suggest. "I AIN'T LEAVIN' MY BROTHER AGIN!" declares Daryl, as Merle compares Michonne's zombie prisoners to the history of slavery in America. Thankfully, Rick cold-cocks him. Not thankfully at all, Daryl decides to leave the group to stay with Merle.
Over at the West Georgia Correctional Facility, Axel and Tyreese make friends by doing a little race-based shtick: "Who'da thought a brother would try to break into prison?" "Who'da thought a white guy wouldn't try to break out?!" It's funny how things get reversed in a Zombiepocalypse. The dead come to life, outside is safer than inside, and brothers be actin' like whitey. It's a lot like a Chris Rock joke from 1994.
Tyreese's group considers killing nearby Carol and Carl in order to get themselves some guns and freedom to roam, but Beth marches up and hands them weapons before they act on it. Awkward! Like, could you hear us talking when you first came in? No reason, just like...awkwardddddd.
Assorted Woodburians are ready to leave for good, but the men guarding the wall won't let them through. There seems to be a zombie attack happening on the other side of the wall, so the guards have good reason to keep the gates shut, but nevertheless Andrea marches up and is like "Can't you see you're SCARING them?? Let these people GO!" She is the Moses of this story.
Mister Zombie Woo-Woo (remember him?) has been secretly attacking the townsfolk from within, and now his team of zombies are marching into all the hubbub. Andrea takes care of all the zombies, but when it comes time to execute a man who's dying from a zombie bite, she freezes. The Governor FINALLY comes out to see what all the fuss is, shoots the guy, and leaves. "Where have you been, asshole?" murmurs the crowd in unison.
Andrea gives a rousing speech to the surviving Woodburians: "Maybe one day, if there even are history books (which there probably won't be), this little kerfuffle will probably make it in. We fought zombies, you guys. I mean that's like a big deal." All the while the Governor eavesdrops from his window, stewing in jealousy. To be honest, I have no clue what's going on with him these days. I feel like I was supposed to remember some things about him that just aren't coming to mind.
Carol and Carl await the return of the lime green SUV at the prison entrance. They pass the time talking about jumbo jets and moms. Finally Rick's rescue team comes back, and when Rick tells Carol that Daryl's gone, she has a silent conniption fit and possibly forgets to lock the fence back up. I mean there aren't any shots to suggest "look what Carol forgot to do," but c'mon, maybe somebody should check just in case?
Now that Rick's back, Beth forgets all about Carl. She gives Rick a kiss on the cheek and holds his baby all the time and is basically 70% into being the hand that rocks the cradle already. Or the hand that rocks the "Lil Asskicker" postal box. I would look out for this one. That catatonic episode probably didn't help her brain all that much.
Rick goes into Tyreese's cell to meet the newbies. "Hello and welcome to prison," he says. "We're good people here- HEY! HEY YOU! YEAH, YOU, LADY IN THE WHITE DRESS! WIPE THAT FACE OFF YOUR HEAD BEFORE I SHOOT EVERY PERSON IN THIS ROOM! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T EXIST?!!?!!!!!!!1" Oh boy, Rick's crazier than ever.
Welcome back to tv, Walking Dead! You're craiaiaiaizy now! Sounds like you finally took Jersey Shore's advice.
photos courtesy of amctv.com and Walkingdeadwikia