Gossip Girl Comes Back!

Gossip Girl returned on Monday, after three long months of I guess Christmas holidays. Somehow Nate and Serena have started dating, and they take it slow and don't take it slow throughout the episode. The ambassador's drug dealing son Damian is still around, executing needlessly intricate drug deals (this time in identical shrugs) and welcoming Jenny once more into the land of Women (which Nate had already done for 1.5 episodes). Chuck's Hurt Locket reveals that his mother (the woman from Mulholland Drive) isn't dead, as previously thought! And obviously, Dan reads self-help blogs when he's not too busy IMing on the sidewalk like a blind person.

and now for my thoughts in list form:

• I like this music that plays out the first few scenes. It's plunky and somehow relates to Damian's no-good plans for Serena as well as to Chuck's first locket-related investigative steps. They didn't credit this music at the end, just triplet emo songs about surfing or something.
• At one point, Jenny says "Thank you" to Damian. His response? A bemused "Mh!"
• Lily asks Jenny if she knows when Rufus will come home, and Jenny, FINALLY realizing she's a teenager, rolls her eyes and annoyed, says, "Just call him and ask."
• Would someone explain to me where Serena and Nate are? With this couch?
• EVERYONE's going to this French Ambassador dinner. Chuck, because he's rich? Nate, because he's got an influential family? Serena, because she is also rich? What do they have to do with the French Ambassador? Is it a birthday party for the French Ambassador's drug-recipient daughter? That would make perfect sense.
• When Jenny confronts Damian about taking Serena to the...dance?...he defends himself by saying, "I don't know about that...she's the one who asked me...so..." He's pretty amazing.
• Chuck keeps canceling on Blair's social introduction to a secret club - this is the most selfishly he's acted since his roof dancing. I hope his regression into immaturity makes Blair grow up a little bit. Their relationship is like that.
• Blair's Thrilled Face when she sees that Serena's there with Damian. I love Blair. Someone should probably mention to Serena, however, that dating a second person is not quite "taking it slow" with the first one.
• I always forget about Dan's cabbage patch doll!
• Chuck, wondering if his mother truly died: "What if she didn't? What if it was just another of my father's many lies?"
• No matter how much I wish for it, I will never be the sort of middle-aged woman who sits in front of the fire with a glass of chardonnay, waiting for the action to come. There will always be a television on in my version.
• Rufus angrily leaves Lily's apartment, without having received an explanation for the kiss that she shared with her kids' dad. Then he goes to some stranger's apartment. Who is this woman? Is she supposed to be Vanessa's mom? No, she lives in the building. In the hotel? Where do they live, again?

So that's the story. Gossip Girl is back, and everyone's changing partners. For some reason I didn't have any watching notes on Serena and Nate's coat room foray...I think you'll just have to watch it to get the full gist of it. At any rate, the way things are now, everyone's headed for a world of hurt.

In fact, I have a few predictions:

• Chuck's mom will be out for money, and then we'll find out that she's really the mother's identical twin sister, because how could Chuck's mother show up just to ask for money?
• Rufus and this Stranger Woman will get married, and Lily will marry the Ambassador whose son is currently corrupting her step-daughter.
• Serena and Nate will kind of date for a few episodes, and Dan and Vanessa will sort of date, but then after about a month, they'll switch back to Dan/Serena & Nate/Vanessa. These things happen.
• Jenny will go to jail, big time. Especially since she never goes to school anymore.
• Eric will get into F.I.T. and that will drive Jenny even crazier!!
• Blair and Chuck will get married and/or pregnant.
• Nate will get involved with Chuck's mom, as he is powerless against cougars.
• Serena will go back to Carter Baizen? Remember how that went nowhere? Maybe it'll come back!
• Oh yeah, SERENA'S DAD IS COMING!!!!! This is going to be a doozy! William Baldwin, you will be up to no good, and we all know it. Good luck!
  

c/o Hello! Magazine