Today I'm Going Uncle Buck Style

Maizy's Teacher: Does anybody have a special story to tell the class about something that happened this week?

[Maizy raises her hand]

Maizy's Teacher: Maizy?

Maizy: My uncle was microwaving our socks and the dog threw up on the couch for an hour.

Maizy's Teacher: Honest?

Maizy: Mm-Hmm.

Maizy's Teacher: Why was your uncle microwaving your socks?

Maizy: He can't get the goddamn washing machine to work.

Maizy's Teacher: BLASPHEMER!