It's 2011, and that can only mean one thing: MORE TV!
After weeks of nothing but Christmas specials and Jersey Shore marathons, it's finally time to get back to real tv, i.e., a new season of Jersey Shore. Here's a list of all the television shows I'm excited for in the upcoming months:
1. Jersey Shore (MTV, Thu Jan 6, 10pm)
Among the JS marathons this week, MTV has been slipping in some pretty extensive sneak peeks at the new season. Mark my words, New Deena's going to set this whole Sammi thing on its head. This will be the way I wished Lost could have ended, and I will feel fulfilled.
2. Parks & Rec (NBC, Thu Jan 20, 9:30pm)
Netflix Instant Watch is currently running season 2 of Parks & Rec (and season 2 of Party Down again, just so you know!), and my roommates and I are falling for it more and more each night. We keep trying to watch just one episode, you see, but then three hours later, we've done another minimarathon. It's a lot like Leslie Knope and that whipped cream. Why and how could we ever stop?
3. Archer (FX, Thu Jan 27, 10pm)
It turns out Netflix Instant Watch inspires most of my television these days. I'd tried to watch Archer when it aired on FX last season, but even though I love H. Jon Benjamin and Jessica Walter very much, I just couldn't do it. I'd switch to the show, sit staring with a furrowed brow for three minutes, then throw the remote at the tv screen until it changed to another channel...until one weekend when Josh had us watch the whole series on netflix, and my mind changed. It simply changed.
4. Top Model!!! (CW, Wed Feb 23, 8pm)
2 cycles a year = I'm always taken pleasantly by surprise!
5. Bob's Burgers (Fox, Sun Jan 9, 8:30pm)
H. Jon, let us see how this goes. I wrote an article about this show here.
6. Gossip Girl (CW, Mon Jan 24, 9pm)
Maybe for 2011 I can take notes on every episode but wait until the very last one to do a Dodecarecap Spectacular!
7. Shameless (Showtime, Sun Jan 9, 10pm)
I saw a poster for this in the subway and it looks awesome. But I am so poor. Does anyone happen to know off the top of your head if Showtime is going to do a free weekend any time soon? And if so, which channel would that be on?
8. The Cape (NBC, Sun Jan 9, 9pm)
I'm only in it for Forney from Where the Heart Is. And with that I have written the nerdiest, lamest thing anyone has ever written on a blog. Sorry guys.
He was also a fast-texting vampire in True Blood, if that helps you/me. Oh, it doesn't?
If I'm going to be at work all day, at least can't there be Neil Diamond playing? No? Ok, I guess that seems reasonable. So no Neil Diamond. Can I at least watch Regis & Kelly? No? Right, obviously not. It is hard to go back to work after a break. Can I at least pop out and catch a movie in the middle of the day? BUT I STILL HAVE TO SEE BLACK SWAN!
Tiny James Franco: Me too!
Showing posts with label gather posts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gather posts. Show all posts
03 January 2011
31 December 2010
The Cupcaker Awards Are Here!!
Welcome to the most prestigious awards reception of the year, "The Best 'Best Of 2010' List of 2010!" In honor of James Franco's co-hosting gig at the upcoming Oscars, my spirit animal (James Franco) will be presenting this year's awards:
JAMES FRANCO: Hi, it's me James Franco, and welcome to Becklectic's Best of 2010 List. My innate grace and zest for knowledge have made me a shoo-in for this first category-
Best Spirit Animal of 2010: I can't...I can't believe it! It's me, James Franco! Thank you so much. Now that I'm up on stage and can make my thank yous, I want to do a little joke - What's the sound of one arm clapping? Haha, because of 127 Hours and also because of philosophy, which may be something I'm getting a master's in right now. I can't say for sure. Thanks and let's get onto the next category.
Best Car of 2010: Born in 1996 and still purring like a 14 year old kitten, Gabe Kotter the Camry wins again. Lately he's getting to know a new trickle charger. Gabe, you old tech nerd!
Best New Blog of 2010: Although I, James Franco, don't have a celebrity lookalike yet, I am presenting this award to Becky's newest endeavor, Celebrities That Look Alike. The girl from Modern Family and Mila Kunis? Wow, truly a great call.
Best Zombies of 2010: In spirit [animal], Becky & I watched 6 episodes of the newest, awesomest zombie show on tv: The Walking Dead. Based on an extended graphic novel series by Robert Kirkman, the tale of Zombiepocalyptic survival is both scary and addictive...just like ___'s personality.
(ring ring)
JAMES FRANCO: Wait a sec- my phone. (picks up) Hello?
FAT CATS AT CORPORATE: Yes, James Franco please.
JF: This is he.
FCAC: Ah yes, James. Would you like to tell us what that blank joke is supposed to be about?
JF: Blank joke? Oh, you mean the insert-your-own thing at the end of the Walking Dead award?
FCAC: Affirmative.
JF: What about it?
FCAC: If you value your livelihood, you will turn in your jokes in a 100% complete format. We can't expect these people to come up with their own punchlines. It's New Year's Eve, for Christ's sake! They're already drunk!
JF: But it's only 10 til noon, not that I'm judging.
FCAC: Give it a rest Franco! Fill in the blank and then give it a rest!
JF: Ok...how about...well, let's see. Who has an addictive and scary personality? Lindsay Lohan? I wouldn't say that's scary. Gaga? I could see her scaring people into becoming addicted to her, but that's not really right.
FCAC: You've got ten seconds before this whole place gets blown to smithereens. Decide!
JF: Ok, just wait a second! Teen moms? The Tea Party? Natalie Portman? Why haven't I seen Black Swan yet?!
FCAC: Five...four...three...
JF: KELSEY GRAMMER! No, Mel Gibson!
FCAC: (long beat) Approved. (click)
JF: Which brings us to-
Best Heinously Miserable Surprise Celebrity Meltdown of 2010: One day Becky plans to read transcripts of Mel Gibson's marital rants to her babies to help them fall into deep, misogynist slumber.
Best Article Readership of 2010: This celebrity breakup post garnered 7800 page views in the half-month it's been around. Congratulations for unlocking the formula, Beck! And sorry to all the famous people whose personal romantic failures are the nourishment upon which we survive.
Best Dream Job of 2010: To write for Sesame Street.
Best-Used Present of 2010: An ice cream maker from Matt (technically from Chanukkah '09), which has so far helped create:
Strawberry Ice Cream
Eggnog Ice Cream
Cinnamon Basil Ice Cream
Sanka Ice Cream
Dutch Chocolate Ice Cream
Basil Gelato
Pistachio Ice Cream
Best Jersey Shore of 2010: If memory serves, all Jersey Shore that has ever taken place has been within 2010. Oh, nope - preliminary research into Wikipedia shows that the first season premiered on Dec. 3, 2009. This doesn't really matter because it's all swirling into the same toilet drain: ALL of The Jersey Shore was the best of 2010. And I can't wait for season 3, which premieres in something like ONE MERE WEEK.
A humble suggestion: clearly it would be a tall order to change the name of the show, but maybe it's possible to call it "Jersey Malapropisms" one or two times? No one would notice the graphic. For instance, when Sammi wants to beat up a girl, she says "Like when I left Karma, I didn’t even know what was going on in my head, like I’m gonna fucking knock a bitch up." Aw! That's about as cute as Amelia Bedelia at her most confused.
Best Roommates of 2010: My roommates!
Best New Twitter of 2010: A tie between my roommates' new twitter (@TheModelHome) and Matt's cool new account (@YonesSays). Congratulations, short and to-the-point wit!
(ring ring)
JAMES FRANCO: God damn it, just a second. (answers phone) What is it?
FAT CATS AT CORPORATE: Is it you talking now, or is it Becky?
JF: James Franco, obviously. Do you mind? This award show is prestigious-
FCAC: Just wanted to double check. Your roommates, they're cool?
JF: What? I don't have any roommates. I'm a rich actor.
FCAC: Oh really. Then whose roommates won the Best Roommates of 2010 award?
JF: Becky's!
FCAC: But it's all in first person, and you're the host.
JF: People will get it.
FCAC: 100% complete, Franco...100%.
JF: I'll give you 100%!
FCAC: That's the right attitude. Carry on (click).
BECKY (OS): James?
JF: Becky? Is that you? Where are you? I can't see you!
B (OS): I'm but a disembodied voice here, James. I'm here to help you.
JF: Help me? But I'm your spirit animal. Shouldn't I be the one helping you?
B (OS): Oh, pish tosh.
JF: It's these fat cats, they're such sticklers.
B (OS): Maybe they're baiting you.
JF: That's not it. It's their greed. Their corporate greed.
B (OS): Come now James. Think. Why would the fat cats at corporate bother you like this?
JF: (thinking very hard, then getting it) (simultaneous with Becky's disembodied voice) BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS A PIECE OF JAMES FRANCO!
B (OS): Bam!
JF: You are the best, Becky.
B (OS): No James, you are.
Best Spirit Animal/Blogger Pairing of 2010: James Franco & Becklectic. THIS is why it mattered so much that I find a spirit animal. And THIS is why Becklectic Takes Manhattan has this year's Best "Best of 2010" List of 2010!
CONGRATULATIONS, WE FINALLY DID IT!
JAMES FRANCO: Hi, it's me James Franco, and welcome to Becklectic's Best of 2010 List. My innate grace and zest for knowledge have made me a shoo-in for this first category-
Best Spirit Animal of 2010: I can't...I can't believe it! It's me, James Franco! Thank you so much. Now that I'm up on stage and can make my thank yous, I want to do a little joke - What's the sound of one arm clapping? Haha, because of 127 Hours and also because of philosophy, which may be something I'm getting a master's in right now. I can't say for sure. Thanks and let's get onto the next category.
Best Car of 2010: Born in 1996 and still purring like a 14 year old kitten, Gabe Kotter the Camry wins again. Lately he's getting to know a new trickle charger. Gabe, you old tech nerd!
Best New Blog of 2010: Although I, James Franco, don't have a celebrity lookalike yet, I am presenting this award to Becky's newest endeavor, Celebrities That Look Alike. The girl from Modern Family and Mila Kunis? Wow, truly a great call.
Best Zombies of 2010: In spirit [animal], Becky & I watched 6 episodes of the newest, awesomest zombie show on tv: The Walking Dead. Based on an extended graphic novel series by Robert Kirkman, the tale of Zombiepocalyptic survival is both scary and addictive...just like ___'s personality.
(ring ring)
JAMES FRANCO: Wait a sec- my phone. (picks up) Hello?
FAT CATS AT CORPORATE: Yes, James Franco please.
JF: This is he.
FCAC: Ah yes, James. Would you like to tell us what that blank joke is supposed to be about?
JF: Blank joke? Oh, you mean the insert-your-own thing at the end of the Walking Dead award?
FCAC: Affirmative.
JF: What about it?
FCAC: If you value your livelihood, you will turn in your jokes in a 100% complete format. We can't expect these people to come up with their own punchlines. It's New Year's Eve, for Christ's sake! They're already drunk!
JF: But it's only 10 til noon, not that I'm judging.
FCAC: Give it a rest Franco! Fill in the blank and then give it a rest!
JF: Ok...how about...well, let's see. Who has an addictive and scary personality? Lindsay Lohan? I wouldn't say that's scary. Gaga? I could see her scaring people into becoming addicted to her, but that's not really right.
FCAC: You've got ten seconds before this whole place gets blown to smithereens. Decide!
JF: Ok, just wait a second! Teen moms? The Tea Party? Natalie Portman? Why haven't I seen Black Swan yet?!
FCAC: Five...four...three...
JF: KELSEY GRAMMER! No, Mel Gibson!
FCAC: (long beat) Approved. (click)
JF: Which brings us to-
Best Heinously Miserable Surprise Celebrity Meltdown of 2010: One day Becky plans to read transcripts of Mel Gibson's marital rants to her babies to help them fall into deep, misogynist slumber.
Best Article Readership of 2010: This celebrity breakup post garnered 7800 page views in the half-month it's been around. Congratulations for unlocking the formula, Beck! And sorry to all the famous people whose personal romantic failures are the nourishment upon which we survive.
Best Dream Job of 2010: To write for Sesame Street.
Best-Used Present of 2010: An ice cream maker from Matt (technically from Chanukkah '09), which has so far helped create:
Strawberry Ice Cream
Eggnog Ice Cream
Cinnamon Basil Ice Cream
Sanka Ice Cream
Dutch Chocolate Ice Cream
Basil Gelato
Pistachio Ice Cream
Best Jersey Shore of 2010: If memory serves, all Jersey Shore that has ever taken place has been within 2010. Oh, nope - preliminary research into Wikipedia shows that the first season premiered on Dec. 3, 2009. This doesn't really matter because it's all swirling into the same toilet drain: ALL of The Jersey Shore was the best of 2010. And I can't wait for season 3, which premieres in something like ONE MERE WEEK.
A humble suggestion: clearly it would be a tall order to change the name of the show, but maybe it's possible to call it "Jersey Malapropisms" one or two times? No one would notice the graphic. For instance, when Sammi wants to beat up a girl, she says "Like when I left Karma, I didn’t even know what was going on in my head, like I’m gonna fucking knock a bitch up." Aw! That's about as cute as Amelia Bedelia at her most confused.
Best Roommates of 2010: My roommates!
Best New Twitter of 2010: A tie between my roommates' new twitter (@TheModelHome) and Matt's cool new account (@YonesSays). Congratulations, short and to-the-point wit!
(ring ring)
JAMES FRANCO: God damn it, just a second. (answers phone) What is it?
FAT CATS AT CORPORATE: Is it you talking now, or is it Becky?
JF: James Franco, obviously. Do you mind? This award show is prestigious-
FCAC: Just wanted to double check. Your roommates, they're cool?
JF: What? I don't have any roommates. I'm a rich actor.
FCAC: Oh really. Then whose roommates won the Best Roommates of 2010 award?
JF: Becky's!
FCAC: But it's all in first person, and you're the host.
JF: People will get it.
FCAC: 100% complete, Franco...100%.
JF: I'll give you 100%!
FCAC: That's the right attitude. Carry on (click).
BECKY (OS): James?
JF: Becky? Is that you? Where are you? I can't see you!
B (OS): I'm but a disembodied voice here, James. I'm here to help you.
JF: Help me? But I'm your spirit animal. Shouldn't I be the one helping you?
B (OS): Oh, pish tosh.
JF: It's these fat cats, they're such sticklers.
B (OS): Maybe they're baiting you.
JF: That's not it. It's their greed. Their corporate greed.
B (OS): Come now James. Think. Why would the fat cats at corporate bother you like this?
JF: (thinking very hard, then getting it) (simultaneous with Becky's disembodied voice) BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS A PIECE OF JAMES FRANCO!
B (OS): Bam!
JF: You are the best, Becky.
B (OS): No James, you are.
Best Spirit Animal/Blogger Pairing of 2010: James Franco & Becklectic. THIS is why it mattered so much that I find a spirit animal. And THIS is why Becklectic Takes Manhattan has this year's Best "Best of 2010" List of 2010!
CONGRATULATIONS, WE FINALLY DID IT!
14 December 2010
A Whole Slew Of Gather Articles!
Hi guys,
Here are more gather posts I've written, which will earn me small amounts of money if you click through them. The good news is that, according to math, all large amounts of money can actually be broken down into small amounts, such that one day all my small amounts of money might equal something big.
PS I got a few HTML books out of the library so maybe some changes are headed for Becklectia? We shall see!
Posts I've Written Lately (please to click!)
1. AMC's "The Walking Dead" Episode 5 Recap: Wildfire
This is my penultimate recap of The Walking Dead season 1. It has a great picture of Andrea's sister Amy waking up as a zombie as well as some particularly biting wit sprinkled in throughout.
2. Bob's Burgers Is Coming! Watch a Preview for Fox's Newest Animated Show, Premiering January 9th
I am so excited for this show, mostly because I am so excited for everything H. Jon Benjamin does. Plus we got Kristen Schaal and Eugene Mirman over here, HEY! Seriously everyone, this is going to have some great voice talent in it. I can't quite speak for the plot yet - my impression from the trailer is that Kristen Schaal's girl must be the narrator at least sometimes and Eugene Mirman's boy looks like he's going to get into some serious trouble which could be funny - but frankly plots are for suckers.
3. AMC's "The Walking Dead" Episode 6 Recap: TS-19
This is my recap of the season finale of The Walking Dead, which was sort of underwhelming. Look, I loved watching The Walking Dead and I learned my lesson from the finale season of Lost - don't get your hopes up when you love a show based on mysteries. No one has the answers, and you're the only one who will end up with a broken heart. So here's the deal: It's cool that they visited the CDC when it wasn't even mentioned in the comics (since Kirkland famously "didn't know that's where the CDC was"), and the whole thing ended as a big invitation to join them on the road again next summer/fall/hopefully sooner than that. So that's what it was, and that was okay.
4. Watch a Preview of Holly Flax's Return to The Office: Welcome Back, Amy Ryan!
I wrote this as soon as I heard what was to be. What an episode! I mostly enjoyed Erin's mistrust in whatever Michael sees in Holly Flax. Mindy Kaling wrote the episode and is obviously the smartest gal in LA. Actually I would bet that's true.
Here are more gather posts I've written, which will earn me small amounts of money if you click through them. The good news is that, according to math, all large amounts of money can actually be broken down into small amounts, such that one day all my small amounts of money might equal something big.
PS I got a few HTML books out of the library so maybe some changes are headed for Becklectia? We shall see!
Posts I've Written Lately (please to click!)
1. AMC's "The Walking Dead" Episode 5 Recap: Wildfire
This is my penultimate recap of The Walking Dead season 1. It has a great picture of Andrea's sister Amy waking up as a zombie as well as some particularly biting wit sprinkled in throughout.
2. Bob's Burgers Is Coming! Watch a Preview for Fox's Newest Animated Show, Premiering January 9th
I am so excited for this show, mostly because I am so excited for everything H. Jon Benjamin does. Plus we got Kristen Schaal and Eugene Mirman over here, HEY! Seriously everyone, this is going to have some great voice talent in it. I can't quite speak for the plot yet - my impression from the trailer is that Kristen Schaal's girl must be the narrator at least sometimes and Eugene Mirman's boy looks like he's going to get into some serious trouble which could be funny - but frankly plots are for suckers.
3. AMC's "The Walking Dead" Episode 6 Recap: TS-19
This is my recap of the season finale of The Walking Dead, which was sort of underwhelming. Look, I loved watching The Walking Dead and I learned my lesson from the finale season of Lost - don't get your hopes up when you love a show based on mysteries. No one has the answers, and you're the only one who will end up with a broken heart. So here's the deal: It's cool that they visited the CDC when it wasn't even mentioned in the comics (since Kirkland famously "didn't know that's where the CDC was"), and the whole thing ended as a big invitation to join them on the road again next summer/fall/hopefully sooner than that. So that's what it was, and that was okay.
4. Watch a Preview of Holly Flax's Return to The Office: Welcome Back, Amy Ryan!
I wrote this as soon as I heard what was to be. What an episode! I mostly enjoyed Erin's mistrust in whatever Michael sees in Holly Flax. Mindy Kaling wrote the episode and is obviously the smartest gal in LA. Actually I would bet that's true.
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