Birthday's a-Comin'

For my birthday this year, which will be in the ides of September, I would like to celebrate for an entire week. I came up with the weeklong birthday plan three or four years ago, when I realized that the nearly unavoidable birthday blues can be lessened with time. Think of it as a ratio: birthday blues = a few hours of acute depression / time. Increase the time, lessen the blues.

I know I'd like to spend one of the days at the Titanic exhibit in Times Square. I'm also toying with the idea of a karaoke party. Probably I'll have dinner with my dear family one of the nights, and I'll want the daytime to make myself look very nice for dinner. That leaves four days and COUNTLESS presents!

Speaking of presents, do you have any ideas yet? I mainly like any present, as long as it isn't a direct insult or too gaudy or anything. Here are a few examples of REAL things I'd like for my birthday:

1. headphones for public transportation (i.e. ear buds) - nota bene: my ear holes really start hurting after a while with those disc shaped ones. And I HATE it when my ear holes hurt, I really do.

2. headphones that are AWESOME and cancel noise and would be way too showy for the subway (I'm talking ear-covering)

3. a typewriter! A mere pipe dream, unless you and I get lucky with craigslist.

4. stationery that reminds you of me (and hopefully reminds me of me)

5. stickers stickers stickers!

6. 6 long-necked, sapphire blue, Japanese puffer fish! Very rare, very delicate. They're poisonous! That's why I want six - we're probably going to lose a few.

7. spy/detective gear

8. professional or semi-professional portraits of me/you/me and you/us and others

9. a board game or party game! nota bene: I already have twister, connect 4, operation, and scene it. I DO NOT have trivial pursuit, cranium, scattergories, taboo, apples to apples, or monopoly. OR clue!!!!!!!!!! I don't have clue?! What world is this?!

10. An interesting cook book.

11. a copy of The Little Mermaid on dvd

12. maybe some blank miniDVs, if you're into that

13. actually, professional lighting equipment could be awesome, but I haven't ever looked into it or its price range. So let me get back to you on this point.

14. "real estate"

15. pretty scarves

And the list will go on in a few days. I need more time to think, which is great because I have about six weeks to think!! But that also means you only have six shopping weeks left. I also like homemade things. Mix tapes, songs, all that.

Snevejret O'Clock and All Is Well

I made this clock using only a clock kit and a foreign language children's book I found at a street fair. I also tore some pages out before I made the clock so I could make signs later (you'll see).








Here it is from the side!








I drilled a hole all the way through the book with a screwdriver. Eventually, the peg from the clock kit I bought (below) could fit through the hole. Then I put everything together and suddenly it was time for numbers. I couldn't believe it!



Here's that clock kit I was talking about. I painted the numbers and clock hands black because I thought that might make them more visible on the busy, busy Swedish cover. One day I'll ask Philippa what it means, and she can ask Johan. BECAUSE JOHAN IS SWEDISH!!

Here Follow Things I Have Made

(or: Arts 'n' [farts 'n'] Crafts)


Here is my makeup shelf, upon which I constructed a blue and white intrashelf.









I used two paper towel rolls and two straws trimmed to the same length. Then I painted everything blue except the outside walls of the little box I used.









I glued the edges of the tubes to the box with elmer's glue, which dries clear.











Et voilà!

On Catching More Flies With Honey

...Yeah, BUT.

Things You Can Do On The Sidewalk That No One Will Ever Know About, Even If You're Walking With A Huge Group Of People

FART!!!!

Crazy Little Thing Called Health Insurance

Ya gotta pay it! Must-have. Seriously, you have to have it.

Don't Be Afraid To Yell Back At Someone

Someone throwing down attitude MUST be expecting it back FOUR-FOLD. I'll think of better versions of the associated stories I have and get back to you on this.

Why This Blog Should Become An Adorable Narrative Listing Of Life Lessons Learned

Becklectic (the first) could be called a collection of musings, aphorisms, and butcher charts of cows.

Becklectic (takes manhattan) could be called a Listing of Life Lessons Learned, if only I could think of a cool way to reference the four Ls. Technically, it could be LoLLL. That's pretty funny, just check it and see. But what about like, "4L" or "L2L2" or I guess "The Ls Game" or something like that? "Ls Galore!" You know what? LoLLL gets better with every passing second.

I SHALL GIVE THIS A WHIRL!

You Could Boil An Egg On My Couch, I Swear

yowza! because it's really hot!

I heard from someone that the longest day of the year has come and gone, and now the days will just get shorter and shorter until we're all lost in the dark of night once more. I be like, "ever heard of hibernation?" Remember in Muppets Take Manhattan (NAMESAKE ALERT!!!) when Fozzie is hibernating and that girl bear Beth is snuggling him and he's like "...Kerrrrrmitttt..."? Did I already relate that story in this blog? Did I?

There's so much becklectricity here already. Oh man, we're really flying now!

Please Give Me A Job.

please?



"What a Girl Like Me Has To Offer an Office Like Yours," a poem.

Sometimes when I'm typing,
I look down
and I realize that I can't see my fingers anymore.
(THEY'RE MOVING TOO FAST)

Sometimes when I'm making coffee,
I glance over
and I realize that I've predicted a need for fresh coffee ten full minutes before it happens.
(BUT I'M ALSO MORE THAN COFFEE)

Sometimes when I'm old and gray and full of sleep,
I think back
and I realize what a great choice you made in hiring me for whatever open position you had at the moment!
(HIRE ME, SOMEBODY!!)

fin.


Jobs will come and go but not quite now and also not later.