24 January 2010

how i found out how married people act

Last week's himym showed us a Robin Scherbatzky drinking game and a beautiful lawyer named Jenkins. Barney was hardly in it at all, except to say that he'd bag Jenkins, which he never did. It was an average January friend hang-out.

THESIS: According to Lily and Marshall's marriage model, all married people really do is nag each other until the other party admits to something. A confession from a past action? A seedy encounter? Nah, they just want each other to admit their horribly boring opinions. This week, Marshall nagged Lily into admitting which of them was the "settler" and which was the "reacher." The week before, Lily nagged Marshall into admitting that the no-suits bartender was much more attractive than she was. Marshall, the eternal husband, refused to admit that any woman could be more attractive than his wife, and in fact, he spun it out into an issue of why Lily thinks the bartender is so much hotter than he is. Lily, the eternal shopper/art guy (?), foolishly admits to being the "settler" after hours of nagging, only to make Marshall a little bit sadder. This is the main thrust of Lilypad and Marshmallow's married life.

Is this what I have to look forward to? When are they going to make a baby, already? Will this season's finale be like "Ted gets the yellow umbrella back again, and Marshall and Lily plot to get each other to admit to not being ready to have a baby...still?" I don't care if Marshall admits anything to Lily ever again, or vice versa. Why is this what himym's married life is like? There has to be an explanation:

1) It could be that this is only the case for Marshall and Lily, and that Ted and Mother will have a shockingly awesome marriage in contrast to this one. But Ted loves Marshall and Lily, so I doubt he's making their marriage seem worse in flashbacks for any reason. Is it just Marshall and Lily who have to wheedle the truth out of everyone, or do all married couples do that? Quite possibly, it's just our two. Lily's uncontrollable need to know everything and guide every action certainly seems to fit right into this situation. And Marshall, the eternal husband, could easily have picked up several of his foibles from his wife, as happens in the real world all the time.

2) It could be that all married life is like this. Once you've won the girl/guy, what's left to do? You can plan your lives together, I guess, but that doesn't take much actual time. You go to work, usually. You eat together. You talk or don't talk about having kids. You watch tv. But I guess if you have to be doing something besides all that, you'd go to a bar and hang out with your friends. And instead of relating to your friends very much, you'd either only converse with your spouse or you'd converse with your spouse only for your friends' amusement. Maybe I should go watch seasons 1 and 2 so I can see if Lily and Marshall were different before the wedding. I feel like Lily read a lot more magazines and was more supportive of Marshall, whose environmental law dreams had not yet crumbled. And Marshall was Big Fudge/Vanilla Thunder literally every day of his life.

3) It could be that this all has nothing to do with marriage, and in fact, it only has to do with who's writing the show right now. Probably this is it.

So I would take from my unpacked thoughts that, although Marshall and Lily's sole shared wish is to make each other "admit it!", that's not necessarily what all marriages are like. Lily's just that way. Maybe she watched too much Seinfeld during her formative years.

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