11 January 2010

How I Met Your Suit Musical!

First a small recap, then an issue.

If there's any man on earth that loves suits, it's Barney Stinson. But if there's anything Barney loves, it's getting women. Tonight, Barney has to choose (but really he doesn't, since suits will always be there). Meanwhile, Ted meets a very special Rachel Bilson, whose boyfriends keep falling in love with her roommate. This roommate is the Mother, and she listens to the Unicorns and plays bass. On the side, Robin loses her composure because she's not hot anymore, which is funny.


Up until this very night, I was all "gimme the mother! give her to me!" I didn't realize until now how quickly Ted's wistful side compliments would get annoying. One or two "your mother plays bass!!"s an episode is fine, but tonight there were like fourteen, and who knows how many there will be when the mother is actually around. GOSH!

[See: "Kids, your mother's rendition of 'Memories' as performed by an English muffin is to this day the most hauntingly beautiful thing I've ever heard." OH COME ON, GET A ROOM. I say this because I would imagine her rendition of English Muffin "Memories" as basically what anyone else's would be. The fact that other people can do it shouldn't detract from its art, but it's not framed as art - it's framed as one of the reasons the mother is the only one out there for Ted. But everyone's english muffins sound that way.]

And here's something else: when the mother is actually around, she'll round out the cast of 6. Friends of mine have suggested that the mother will be just one shot at the very end of the series, but I always saw it: two girls, three guys? Come on. Guys. Come on. And they already paired everyone else up right under our noses. So what will this final, force-balancing, sixth main character be like?

My guess, she'll have brown hair and blue eyes, and that's why their kids look the way they do. She'll be more of an intellectual powerhouse than Robin or Lily because, let's face it, neither of those two are exactly rocket scientists. I guess none of the guys are particularly smart either, which might suggest that, like everyone, these characters can be smart but for the most part are just goofy. But then again, maybe they've been missing a smart guy. (Note from Josh: Ted was wayyyy too smart in college and now seems to have found a way to tone it down. This only furthers my point that the mother character will specifically be smart).

Duh, she plays bass, and I wonder if now the band will become a crazy stepcousin of the show. She's clearly been pursued by several men, so it's not like she'll have an insecurity complex (both because of the pursuits and because of Ted's personality (he's the insecure one in a relationship, thank you)). I bet she'll be really cool with the girls right away, but that's mostly because I don't see himym exploring the arc of a female friendship (remember when Lily was like "Hey Robin, I know you just decided not to date Ted, but come get a beer with us now."?). But what else will she be like? I hope she becomes good friends with Marshall. He needs more play.

In conclusion, meeting this mother is going to be a bigger deal than I originally thought. McLaren's, we're gonna need a bigger suit musical.

And PS, I created a flow chart so that we can observe Ted's labyrinthine path to the mother:

Ted had to meet Cindy, the roommate, to meet the mother.
Ted had to be teaching at Columbia to meet Cindy (and go into the wrong classroom).
Ted had to date Stella and lose her to her ex-husband to teach at Columbia.
Ted had to get a butterfly tattoo to meet Stella, the tattoo removalist.
Ted had to suffer a huge breakup to be upset enough to get a butterfly tattoo.
Ted had to be ready to marry Robin to be that torn up about breaking up with her.
Ted had to decide he was ready to get married to have the relationship he had with Robin.
and that was in the pilot, so the first step to meeting the mother was literally him deciding to get married.

And hey! No tag, no fair!

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