Dr. Rufus & The Blood Type Solution

This week's episode of Gossip Girl is called "Double Identity," which I guess is a play on Double Indemnity, since every title is a pun on a movie title. But I did a little research and found out that Double Identity is actually also a movie from 2009 starring Val Kilmer. It's about an American doctor in Chechnya, and our episode featured a blonde Chechnyan(ish) "doctor" and an American, maybe. Great, I get it!

How I Felt About Gossip Girl This Time:

• No matter how many times I hear it, "Milo Humphrey" sounds just like "My li'l Humprey." Which settles the Three-Men-And-a-Baby-Retitling-Dispute. My Li'l Humphrey, 9/8 central.
• I'm still unconvinced that Blair wouldn't be able to recognize any and every European royal by face.
• Did Serena wear this gold-jacket outfit last episode? I feel like she's been wearing it for my entire life.
• Haha, Nate and Stalker talked for 7 hours and then Stalker was able to recap all of it in 45 seconds. Must've been a deep, winding conversation. And she wants to be his life coach? Oh Nate, how does this keep happening to you?
• Oh no, they're having Serena ID Chuck's body. And, copying True Blood, they've hired a werewolf to accompany her.

"I am Inspector Chevalier and I am a French werewolf in Paris, which is actually nothing to write home about."

• Oops, correction: Chuck is going by "Henry Prince," not "Henry Francis." 
• Serena looks so shocked and confused when Chuck tells her "there's no Chuck here":

"Oh, pardon me then. I must have the wrong address."

• Honestly, Danessa is more brother and sister than Dan and Serena are, and they're technically brother and sister (ish, by law?). So watching Vanessa say "I think...I can help" before she kisses him is disgusting, plus Lily is all set to walk in to get to work on that nursery, oh gross, oh gross...
• Blair in a sweeping red gown, struggling with a hairdresser: "Perhaps this [hat] should be tilted more comme ça?"
• UH OH, NATE

Busted!

• Serena is leaving "We need to talk" text messages all over town. How neurotic are floozies supposed to get? Can't you just wait to magically bump into these guys?
• Oh dear, Blair loves the ring that Chuck bought for her without realizing where it comes from. This whole thing is wrapping up quite nicely, and in fact, I'm sort of glad the thieves stole the ring from Chuck. It gave him a heroic story (he wouldn't let go of it) and it helped out in the identification process and it ALSO helped Blair understand what Chuck has been going through etc etc etc. I thought they were too young to be getting engaged, but this ring is really working overtime symbolically.
• Dan and Nate, just two pals enjoying some beers on the roof wearing pink plaid shirts:

"Most of the time it just feels like you're the only one who gets it."

• Serena to Blair re: stopping Chuck from leaving forever on a London-bound train: "You and I both know you're the only one who can do that." So true, so convenient. Thank god she knew when and where he would be inside the train station.
• Serena's FUNNY! "Dan, a good shoulder to cry on. Nate, good shoulders." Just seven hours on a plane and suddenly we've got a comedian!
• Dan has graduated to wearing Dad Shirts in the park:

  

"Yeah I got this out of Rufus's drawer. I thought you'd like that."

• Yet another pink plaid shirt wearer, royalty-style:

 

"I zeenk ze costume dezigner eez een love viz pink plaids!"

• And furthermore from the Louvre, I never would have thought Blair would have the guts to take off a shoe in there. It's the little things like this that force us to love Blair.

"I just hope and pray Gossip Girl can't see this OR DO I?"

• Holy moly, Serena's world caves in in Brooklyn. Danessa, NateStranger - it's too much!

"As you can see, we're together. Not Nate and me! I mean me and Vanessa and Nate and this new one. Not all of us together! I mean both of us with girls. Both of us together, with girls."

• By the way, here is a better shot of the stranger, who is at least ten years older than these kids:

"Hi how are ya I'm a young 29 if that!!"

• Haha, Rufus the doctor is the first one to realize that Milo has blood type O-. If both Rufus and Dan have AB+, what must Georgina's blood type be in order to have this kid (if possible)? Sounds like a bio problem to me!*
• Lily cuts Rufus off before he can even attempt to figure out the blood type problem with "The closest you've come to medical school is having a Lincoln Hawk song licensed for Chicago Hope." IT MUST RUN IN THE FAMILY!
•  And the teaser from next week looks like Blair and Serena are going to throw a real shitshow next week. PS Are they using another college for the Columbia set because they used Columbia already as the Yale set? Don't do it!

* The Blood Type Solution:
The blood types are A, B, and O. Both types A and B are co-dominant, which means that if Mom gives an A allele and Dad gives a B, the baby will be AB rather than one or the other. O is recessive, which means that both Mom and Dad have to have at least one O in their own blood types (either A(O), B(O), or OO) in order to have an O type baby, and they'd both have to pass on their Os. If Dan is type AB, he's passing on either an A or a B, so even if Georgina is type O, baby Milo would be either Type A(O) or B(O). He couldn't be type O. BADA BING!