28 February 2012

Suicide Watch At The Oasis

As Sunday's episode of The Walking Dead ("18 Miles Out") begins, we're thrown into a battle scene somewhere that looks like the old high school where Shane sentenced Otis to die. "Did I miss an episode?" I ask, panicking. Until I remember good old 9th grade English class, that is, and the story structure lessons I learned there. We're starting in medias res, and all will be revealed in like 30, 35 minutes. Phew.


Rick and Shane drive 18 Miles Out from Hershel's farm to dump their sniper kid somewhere where he can't hurt them. On the way, Rick stops the car to have a heart-to-heart with his dearest friend in the world. "I heard what really happened at the school," he says. "Was it to survive?" First of all, nobody heard what really happened at the school. Shane's the only one with the capacity to tell anyone that, and he hasn't. Dale and Lori surmised it on their own, and Lori told Rick that she thought Shane could've killed Otis. But no one told Rick "what really happened." This must be a cop trick from before the fall. "You can't just be a good guy and expect to live. Not anymore," retorts Shane. THEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!

Their talk goes even further: Rick reminds Shane that his family is HIS, and Shane tells Rick a little bit about how it all went down at the hospital, when soldiers were shooting live people. He also throws in a lie about not looking at Lori like that until after Rick's accident. Colorful backstory AND strategic lying? TELL ME MORE!! I'm serious, by the way. I think this is great.

Things are happening back at the house throughout all this, but it's so very boring. Lori talking to Maggie about their boyfriends' feelings. Lori talking to Catatonia about why life is worth living. This is certainly a better Lori than before, but only like, how -10 is better than -20. You know?


Rick and Shane get the sniper kid out of the trunk, where he's all trussed up like Tia's boyfriend at the end of Uncle Buck. "I'M SORRR-RYYYYYY!!!! Ok, asshole??" And then U.B. hits golf balls at him until one gets him right in the head. If only I were watching Uncle Buck right now! Soon, Becky. Maybe tonight!




Anyhow, the Best Friends Gang has taken Sniper Kid (what's his name again? Oh yeah, Randall as in Flagg) to a police station with a sturdy fence, where they plan on leaving him (still hog-tied) with a knife so he can carry on by himself. Rick shows Shane how not to waste bullets on fenced-in zombies: lure them to you with your blood (not necessary; they're attracted to you enough as it is) and then stab them in the head while they're distracted (oh, I see, they're distracted by your blood smear).


When they start walking away from Randall, he screams his head off about not being able to survive alone and how he's just a normal guy, one who went to high school with Maggie. The BFFs stop. Do they have to rescue him because he's Maggie's friend? Randall keeps on screaming, admitting that she probably didn't know him, but he was always a big fan of the Greens. The BFFs stop again. They don't have to worry about him for Maggie's sake. But he does know exactly where he is, having grown up in the area. Obviously, Shane wants to kill the kid to quash any danger he might bring. Rick's like, ain't gonna happen, we're not in the business of kid-killin'. And so they end up in a FIGHT TO THE DEATH.

Now that they're fighting, I foresee a lot of zombies coming out of the police station to get us to that first scene. I bet they're inside because my subconscious remembers a similar, much better scene from the comic book. But first, Shane upends a motorcycle onto Rick, I guess just to get them both good and exhausted once the zombies come out. And boy, do they.

 

Like me, you probably want to go take a look at what's going on at the farm at this point. Well, it's actually a pretty fun scene we've got going on here. Maggie and Catatonia are arguing about killing themselves, and Andrea's yelling at Lori about people's right to die. Then Andrea tells Lori that she's gotten everyone she loved back from the dead, and besides that, everyone knows about her boyfriend Shane. Aren't girl characters cool on this show? Isn't it great that when they argue, only cat noises come out? I love how many zombies the girls get to kill. This is heartening and pleasant.

Back to the boring old police station lol jk this is the most exciting thing that's happened in so long!: Randall's still hogtied and inching toward the knife when Shane throws something heavy into the side window. He admires his reflection in the broken glass, but only for an instant, because a thousand zombies come out of it after that. Rick covers himself with a dead one. Randall squeezes his cuffs to the front so he can use the knife to put down a particularly enterprising dead woman who has sniffed him out. Shane gets trapped on a bus. And we're back to where we started!!!

Looks like Shane has no choice but to use the lure-and-stab trick that Rick taught him earlier. It works like gangbusters until the knife falls out of Shane's hand. Shane looks up just in time to see Rick and Randall scoot away, but we all know Rick's coming back for him. First he just has to see an omen. In this case, it's the two dead sheriffs, lined up side by side like two gay brides. Better go back for your friend, Big Rick.


They drive the lime-green subaru (or whatever) through the horde attacking Shane's bus and manage to rescue him, with Driver Randall's neck duct-taped to the headrest as a restraint. Rick is amazing, by the way. He taped the kid's neck!


Back at Paradise Farms, Andrea gives Catatonia the go-ahead to kill herself. But when the time comes, the girl cuts her wrists with a broken mirror only very shallowly. "Hooray!" thinks Andrea. "She wants to live after all!!!!!!" By the way, Andrea doesn't just think it. She says it to Maggie. And then Lori, con los cojones mas grandes, has the audacity to basically be like "she's right, Maggie."

Things I would do if I were Maggie:
1. Punch Lori in that fat face of hers
2. Slam a cast iron skillet into Andrea's face
3. Get busy with Glenn in the forest all the time
4. Not because I like Glenn, but because Maggie does
5. Ride my horse around, killing more zombies
6. Drink

We cut back to the Best Friend Squad, this time pausing their drive back towards the farm. Rick gives Shane back his gun and reminds him what's whose. They truss up Randall again, even though he just told them he knows how to get to the farm. Shane notices a lone, shambling zombie he'd seen on the drive to the police station. Josh, sitting on the couch next to me, gets it. That's what being a loner will get you.

The spring episodes of Walking Dead have been a definite improvement on the first half of season 2. Clearly Mazzara is getting everything back on track with some serious character work and mild ret-conning. It's getting good. Now I would like to see it get AMAZING!


photos courtesy amctv.com and Uncle Buck, 1989.

No comments:

Post a Comment