We pick up right where the premiere left off: Rick and the gang protect Hershel & Hershel's leg from these new-found (living) prisoners. Both sides are like "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" and I find it incredibly suspect that these guys haven't even been outside once in 10 months. It's awfully convenient that they have no idea what's going on and haven't encountered any zombies or tried to escape. "What do you suppose that growling noise x1000 is outside the door?" "Shet up and get back to waitin' patiently for our savior guards!" That seems accurate, sure.
(ALSO: Starlee Kine's recap at NY Mag is like "I mean, you’d think the fact that they survived all that time without killing each other would’ve indicated some level of civility among them, no?" I think it might indicate that they're GREAT AT HIDING BODIES THEY DONE KIL'T.)
Rick's BSometer goes off but not fast enough for him to put a finger on what's wrong with these dudes. He caps a lone zombie in the doorway and GTFO with Hershel, the gang, and Hershel's leg. CREDITS.
So it looks like Carol knows SOMETHING, finally, and might be able to help the now-doctorless group. She advises everyone to elevate Hershel's stump. Good old RICE, right Carol? Only she forgot Rest, Ice, and Compression. GOD CAROL.
"What about my moms? My kids? My old lady?" asks Big Tiny (or if it wasn't him, it might as well have been). It turns out Big Tiny was staying imprisoned to avoid further punishment. That completely gibes with everything that's been said so far, so Rick decides to spill the beans: "We're all infected," he exclaims! "'We' as in Rick's gang?" I would ask, if I were an inmate. But I'm not, so they're like "GREAT, SOUNDS GREAT."
Back at The Neverendingly Exciting World of Hershel's Chattin' 'n' Singin' Daughters, the younger one (Beth) chides the older one (Maggie) for not tearing all of Hershel's pants at the knee like she's doing. You should probably leave the pant leg on and just knot it, considering the limited clothing supplies and variable weather you'll be facing for the rest of your lives. That's what I would've said if I were Maggie. But I'm not, so she's like "Garsh."
Lori tries to use the new inmates as an excuse to reprise her non-role as Lady MacBeth: "Do whatever you gotta do to keep us safe...and do it with a clear conscience." I guess she realizes she wields literally no power at this point because she takes a page out of Maggie's book and starts hugging and kissing the possibly-dead (thus probably-zombified) Hershel. Glen Mazzara, you don't have to do this.
Rick, Daryl, and T-Dog explain to the inmates how the cell block raid will work - head shots, etc. They're like "I THINK I know how to fight a mutha" and then spend literally 10 minutes gut-punching like 2 zombies. "Perhaps the new guys will all die on their own!" I think, gleefully.
Carl comes up to Hershel's cell with infirmary supplies that he retrieved alone and is all NO BIG DEAL I KILLED 2 WALKERS. Lori's like "I appreciate that, but-" and Carl's like THEN GET OFF MY BACK and oh God I love you Carl. Wow, this kid did a 180 in my heart. I wish I WISH I could've seen Carl kill those zombies at the infirmary.
Big Tiny gets scratched by a zombie without a hand (it came off with its handcuffs mere seconds ago) so Latino Inmate takes it upon himself to kill his best friend of 10 months, even though he might not really have been infected. Goddamnit just when you get to know someone. Big Tiny was my favorite!!
Glenn helps Carol drag in a zombie corpse to practice child delivery on. Someone's looking at her from outside the prison. I bet it's a zombie.
Back at the cell block raid, Latino Inmate takes a swing at Rick in all the hubbub. Rick's like "I'm not a regular Rick, I'm a cool Rick. Remember what I did to those dudes at the bar last season?" And I'm like "I SURE DO!" and so he puts a machete in Latino Inmate's head because buddy, no good will come from keeping him alive. Unfortunately, Rick doesn't see the good in keeping that other dude alive, the one who runs for his life. I'm hearing reports that the kid tried to take a swing at Rick when Latino Inmate got it. It makes a difference because in one version Rick's still ok but in the other he's actually just performed his first unjustifiable manslaughter.
I can tell you one thing, though. A Rick who kills potential bad guys is much more entertaining than a Rick that sits on his thumbs talking to Lori for 10 hours.
It turns out Lori and Hershel's makeout sesh really did save his life, which is shitty and unrealistic. His eyes are open and they still seem sapphire (and human) blue, but my fingers are still crossed that next week his first words will be "larhrurhghghghghghghghg! CHOMP!"
Where were Andrea and Michonne this episode? They must have been gearing up for next week, when we'll apparently be watching them the whole time. Maybe Carl can run and catch up to them in time to make the episode. In Maggie's words, "GARSH!"
photos courtesy AMCtv.com
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