It's Gossip Girl's Cabaret, And It's Invitation Only

Here we are! Sitting together, reading Becky's first recap post. Sure hope it's great. Hey, it's starting!

EPISODE: The Cabagagaret.

I was told Lady Gaga would be narrating the entire episode, rather than appearing in just one awkwardly-placed concert insert. I was told wrong.

Reading through the notes I took during the episode, it seems that various storylines occurred this week: Not only did three very-close college students maintain a surprisingly unsloppy relationship, but Blair lost a my-diddums-is-more-powerful-than-yours match, and Jenny did some stuff! I'm still experimenting with format here, but I think I'm going to basically say a few things in paragraph form and then go through my notes in perhaps a bullet-point list. Hey, that link to the right doesn't say "potentially stolen from" for nothing.

• I forgot why Nate and Vanessa broke up in the first place. Maybe here would be the perfect place to introduce my gossip boy/girl theory. I propose that each character on the show can be accurately described in a few adjectives (e.g. Blair is Rich, Conniving, and In The End A Good Friend). Using these adjectives, you can pair up the boy characters to their precisely equal girl characters. Chuck is also Rich, Conniving, and In The End a Good Friend. See? They're the same! The rest pair up like this: Nate & Serena (Rich, Ditzy, and Moderately Slutty), Jenny & Eric (Outcasts, Experimenting with Looks, and Too Young To Know Anything Yet), Rufus & Lily (Old, Parents, Each Other's True Love), Dan & Vanessa (Pseudointellectual, Brooklyn, and In Love With The Rich, Ditzy One), and hmmmm who else? Is there anyone else? Who would Georgina match up with? Wow, I'd hate to find out.
• Which brings me to Nate's line near the end of the episode: "You can count on me always" Wow, well said, Nate. And totally untrue, and you're too dumb to notice.
• Lately people are addressing Vanessa by her last name, which happens to be my last name, and it's weird when she just had an unplanned (yet surprisingly unsloppy) threeway with the people who keep shouting "Abrams!" across NYU's various coffee shops.
• Jenny's reading Nylon. +3
• At some point, apparently Chuck says something to Rufus. Cut to Josh on the couch next to me: "Since when has Chuck deigned to speak to Rufus?"
• I guess Blair's trying to replace the headband with A BERET. Rock Bottom must be around here somewhere!
• Regarding the scene during which I missed LITERALLY two words:
  me: wait, Lizzie McGuire's going to have Dan write a play?
  colin: Dan will take her to the cabaret.
  me: Dan and Blair?
• Serena's shoulder pads: Doing their best to keep the neckline up while also keeping the hemline WAY up.
• Trip's wife "Who wants to take their favorite wife to brunch?" - yikes, she already acknowledges that there's more than one "wife" in the picture
• Nate's apartment window opens up onto a fifth grader's interpretation of THE BIG APPLE painted onto a shower curtain:

Look, review the play on that one. This camera phone image takes it all down to the backdrop's level.

• I had a note about Vanessa looking like blue Stevie Nicks. That probably makes sense for something.
• Serena was 13 when Jude Law's Alfie came out? Solidly born between 1990 and 1991. Mystery Solved.
• I was kind of hoping the Belgian with the Dinghy would give Jenny some of that E he's selling. On a remote controlled boat.
• Nate: "Post Threesome Stage One." Suddenly, Nate is becoming something. Perhaps it's the Core Curriculum. Either way, he's accessing the knowledge in his brain more easily, and he even makes mean jokes to Dan's face! If that's not the sign of increasing intelligence, I don't know what is. Tess: "He's like a freelance musketeer."
• I forgot all writers could jump back and forth among forms. Dan the novelist/essayist is now also a playwright. Which suggests that my next move will be menopause-prescription-fine-print-copywriting. If Only!
• Update: Jenny & Drugs. Tess: "It's about time Jenny got involved with drugs." Josh: "Does she still go to school?"
• Some mean-girl extra, in response to Lizzie McGuire's accusation that Vanessa is in love with Dan: "It is true."
• "Alternachick Abrams"
• I liked the Serena/Nate "What are we doing" scene better when it was Zack Morris and Jessie Spano rehearsing their kiss for the Snow White Rap.
• Once again, Chuck saves the day. His new leaf has remained turned since Lily's near-rape at the opera bathroom last season.
• I'm pretty happy that Chuck is turning into a third adult on the show. It's a shame that Blair has to turn into a baby in order for this to happen. It also throws off my gossip boy/girl theory, but I can keep working on that.
  

NEXT WEEK: Thanksgiving episode! with an elevator sex tape.