The first bit of the season finale is always a lonnnnggggg segment that tries to make the girls seem more sympathetic. In this season's case, their plights are completely truthful and thus more painful than usual. Molly's been to rehab because of the rejection she feels around being adopted. Brittani's mom has such a debilitating social anxiety disorder that she never leaves the house, thrusting all familial social responsibility onto Brittani. But it sort of feels better to know that Molly and Brittani can now share the big bed that had once made Molly SO ANGRY.
In the morning the girls speak to Ivan Fart, VP of IMG. He looks like he's sitting in a back brace. Then he sends them off to their Covergirl commercial, never having to speak a word. The commercial is, as always, a stilted monologue of nonsequiturs about new makeup. Molly has a great rehearsal, but then she can't shake her natural mean face as three cameras simultaneously taunt her. She raises her hands in some sort of half-defensive, half-graceful bird claw shape. Then Brittani goes, flubs 1000 takes, and manages one wacky, successful shot at the very end. A very successful shot.
Next come the Covergirl print ad beauty shots. Eff this, why is Molly so pretty. If I tried to make the faces she makes, I'd look like a great big turd. Pierpaolo Ferrari (the photographer) keeps calling Brittani "professional" in his interview, which would normally be a backwards insult about how unpretty he finds her. But in this case, it turns out Molly's 'tude can't seem to stay hidden, and Pierpaolo finds her thoroughly unprofessional. Brittani looks like a flapper in her shot and makes it work, which is just what she does. She makes things work.
The next day, the girls meet with Pierpaolo again for their Vogue Italia photo spread. Again Brittani kills it and Molly is "unprofessional." Why can't Molly just pull it out? I guess to get to the 14th week of ANTM must get to be exhausting. That's why it's so great that her parents surprise her before the fashion show! And that's why it's so terrible that Brittani's mother has social anxiety. She can't come, but they videochat instead. It's so sad, no software company wants to sponsor it.
And now it is time for the Vivienne Westwood fashion show, which will take up three rooms of a large Moroccan palace. WELCOME BACK, ANN!!!!!!! Molly bops around when she walks, overcrossing her legs and taking teensy geisha steps. Brittani's walk kills it, of course, but at one point she giggles and it makes Tyra v sad. Then, obviously, Brittani slips on some rose petals and falls headlong into a door. Her ankle reallllly hurts, but I posit aloud to my television that she could just Kerri Strug it at this point and seal the deal. And guess what? SHE STRUGS IT!
Before the final Elimination, Tyra decides to give the girls one last haircut. I was hoping for a buzz, but they both just get very short haircuts. Molly looks like Dennis the Menace. Brittani looks like Audrey Hepburn. Did they do that to Molly so that we could all feel better about preferring Brittani's goofiness to Molly's pristine beauty?
Analyzing the runway show, Tyra again defends a terrible walk (this time Molly's) by calling it "signature." The judges watch the Covergirl commercials and look at the print ads, and it looks like they prefer Brittani for both. I personally don't love the cockamamey eyelines in Brittani's shot, and ALT feels the same way - he "officially" wants to frame Molly's shot and hang it in his salon.
As the judges deliberate, it honestly feels like they might choose two winners for the first cycle ever. But in the end, there can only be one new top model (every six months). And IT'S BRITTANI, BITCH!
I bet Molly's so mad they cut her hair, but she doesn't really show it. Did they make a mistake? She seems to be shielding her angry feelings quite appropriately. At any rate, Brittani's lipstick and mascara are smeared, she's so happy, and she's going to use the money to buy her mom a mansion she'll never have to leave.
HOORAY BRITTANI!
photos courtesy of CWtv.com
No comments:
Post a Comment