Celebrity Couples I'd Like To See

According to US Magazine, Jason Segel and Michelle Williams might be dating. This is a wonderful pairing, and it has sent me on a spectacular fantasy-journey of other celebrity couples I'd like to see:

Celebrity Couples I'd Like To See

James Franco and Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling is hilarious. And although she'd only admit it jokingly, I bet she has a mad crush on James Franco. If I were a betting man, I'd say Franco is about to have a crush on her too, as soon as he reads this blog post. James, she's great, read her book, trust me. The boy loves books and learning.

Chris O'Dowd and Kristen Wiig

I just read that Bridesmaids star Chris O'Dowd is currently engaged. Congratulations in this reality, dude, but also congratulations in THIS reality, where you just married your co-star, Kristen Wiig! You two are truly a match made in my fantasy world!

Mila Kunis and Seth Rogen

Mila just ended a very long relationship with Macaulay Culkin, and it seems like she could use some cheering up. Seeing as her Forgetting Sarah Marshall costar Jason Segel is ostensibly taken, it may as well fall to Seth. I assume Mila Kunis harbors some sort of teddy bear romantic fetish, and Seth's beard looks very warm.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Just get it over with, already. It should have happened by now. I need to see just how opulent and luxurious this wedding can get. Just get it over with!!! JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!

Jake Gyllenhaal and Zooey Deschanel

Apparently these two have already been in a movie together (Jennifer Aniston classic, The Good Girl). Ah yes, I recall watching ten minutes of it on Oxygen one fine Saturday morning. Doesn't it seem like these two would make one of those pairs that are like, "Ohhh, duhhhh!" Obviously. Jake + Zooey = ohhhh, duhhhhh! 

 Scarlett Johansson and Lindsay Lohan

Ladies, stop pretending. Just go for it.

To all the potential celebrity couples out there, it's time to do this. Organize a mixer, start an email chain, whatever it takes. And when you're ready, I will happily officiate your sextuple wedding!

Images linked to sources.

Look At All I Won

What a great birthday! I not only avoided the dreaded too-much-birthdays (for the most part), but I also had a killer party and got more presents than I ever thought I could get. Since so many of my presents correspond to items from my wishlist, I'm going to go through my list:

1. this golden bear bottle opener Didn't get it but didn't really want it that much to begin with.
2. Party Down on dvd YEP!
3. We Can Be Heroes on dvd I would've had to change the dvd zone on my computer again.
4. blank miniDV tapes I can get these anytime!
5. a Crayola Crayon Maker YEP MY BROTHER IS GREAT
6. Season 2 of Arrested Development on dvd (I lost mine) I saw a great deal on amazon and went full steam ahead!
7. Zeitoun by Dave Eggers YES
8. Mariokart for Wii all in good time
9. Clone High on dvd ditto above
10. a video about me from you Improbable
11. a poem about you from me Impossible
12. a little pup to just play with sometimes This would've been too much
13. Guitar Hero or Rock Band for Wii (I know this is a tall order; perhaps you and a group of friends were looking to go in on something together?) None of my friends are friends with each other
14. a ton more crayons Check, self-bought present from KMart yesterday
15. permanent parking spot in nyc for Gabe Kotter, camry extraordinaire I don't know if he would like it up here
16. canvases for painting I'm actually still pretty well-stocked from Katherine's present last year
17. interesting cookbooks Thanks Mom
18. a new sewing machine Maybe in another few years
19. itunes gift cards? Nah

Way to go, Becky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You've really got it all!

Time For My Wishlist!

This year for my birthday (which is fast approaching), I would like to win:

1. this golden bear bottle opener
2. Party Down on dvd
3. We Can Be Heroes on dvd
4. blank miniDV tapes
5. a Crayola Crayon Maker
6. Season 2 of Arrested Development on dvd (I lost mine)
7. Zeitoun by Dave Eggers
8. Mariokart for Wii
9. Clone High on dvd
10. a video about me from you
11. a poem about you from me
12. a little pup to just play with sometimes
13. Guitar Hero or Rock Band for Wii (I know this is a tall order; perhaps you and a group of friends were looking to go in on something together?)
14. a ton more crayons
15. permanent parking spot in nyc for Gabe Kotter, camry extraordinaire
16. canvases for painting
17. interesting cookbooks
18. a new sewing machine
19. itunes gift cards?
20. I'll add more later but I figured that with only 5 days left, you'd probably need the wishlist ASAP!

What An Idea For A Movie!

Have you heard about this? An Arab guy pretended to be Jewish so he could have a relationship with this Israeli woman, and now she's pressing rape charges (she had given consent under false pretenses). If the guy weren't going to jail, I would've immediately copy/pasted this story into Final Draft and gotten a genius screenplay out of it. As it stands, you can't end a movie with your hapless, in-way-over-his-head hero doing hard time. It doesn't sit well. And so-

What I Might Have Called the Hilarious Romantic Comedy That Could Have Come from This Fiasco:

1. The Odd Couple
2. How to Lose a Jew in 10 Days (alternate: How to Lose a Jew in 6 Days (War))
   
3. Circumcise Me!
4. The Yarmulke Job
5. The Fertile Crescent
6. Love Is Rael!
7. Caught in the Middle East
8. Uh-Oh, It's Yom Kippur and I'm Not Fasting
   
9. Peace (and Love) in the Middle East
10. Sleeping With the Enemy of State

ADDITIONS:
11. Sheesh in the Middle East
12. Guess Who's Coming to Seder
13. I Ran Shofar Away (that has more to do with music, though)
14. We'll Always Have Hummus
15. The Girl with Haifa Heart
16. Knesset and Tell
17. Strife with my Wife
18. Finders Kippahs
19. West Bank Story
20. When Jewy Met Palestiney...

Things I Want For Christmas

It's only a few weeks to Christmas and I know how stressful gift-shopping can be these days, so to make things easier on you, I'm posting a Christmas list right here. Now you don't even have to guess! Hey, no problem.

I WANT! I NEED!
a wishlist in list format.

1. a tape player with its own speaker, sometimes called a shoebox recorder
2. glove-knitting lessons / some really tiny knitting needles
3. brown hair again
4. an ice cream maker
5. back rub
6. hair time - interpret however you please, but I'd like at least some of the focus to be on my hair
7. seasons 3 and 4 of himym (are we on season 5? if not, that's on the list, too)
6. craught supplies
12. anything that you have drawn, painted, composed, performed, etc. I like the things you do.
5. acrylic paints/canvases are always welcome
4. it's always sunny seasons 3 and 4
3. only seasons 3 and 4 of a variety of other shows
2. little britain
b. cool looking children's books that I can make clocks out of
4. a small- to mid-range keyboard
5. a new laptop - 13" macbook pro with the smaller amount of hard drive space
6. stationery that will go with my brand new typewriter!!!

Right now I'm watching episode 3 of Lost. It's for the locke-down plan, which is a countdown to the final season premiere. Two eps a day, every day - it's the way John Locke would want it. Plus, this way you can miss a day and then you get to watch four episodes the next day! Alright!!!!!!!!!!

If you want a present from me, just leave your wishlist as a comment. Nothing would make me happier than to look lovingly at a list of things you might like.