15 March 2010

Little J Does Her Best To Flush Her Life Down the Toilet

This week's Gossip Girl showed us an awkward NYU day-party, a gang of teens trying to reunite Bass & Fisher Mothering Co., and Jenny's new-found "foreign relations." We also continued to ogle Nate and Serena's honeymoon, which is losing no steam as the weeks go by. And Rufus and Lily - I truly hope they kept some of those confiscated pills they were pretending to flush upstairs. They could use some recreation right about now.
  • Damian starts out the show with "No rest for the wicked." Now THAT is a character. Not even season 1 Chuck would say something like that. It's so campy!
  • I'm shocked to see Jenny kissing this arm's length drug dealer. Her bluff from last week seems to have worked! He's conning her, mark my words. PS I like very-clean-faced Jenny, but my favorite Jenny is still the one who put on a guerrilla fashion show with Agnes Andrews, troubled model.
  • Kitchen sex? In the morning? No.
  • And Blair tries to one-up them by shouting bored noises from Chuck's room, fully dressed (jewels and all), reading a magazine.
  • Does Chuck have a picture of Serena in his room?

From farther away, it looks more like Rachael Zoe. But it's funnier here because it looks just like Serena's hair.

Also, apparently Lily has a big picture of Blair up in her house. What are all these Huge Woman-Face Pieces?
  • Prediction Correct: Blair is forlorn about Chuck spending any time with his mom. I knew it. But I'm extremely pleased with where this went.
  • I was hoping that Vanessa truly was not into Dan. That would be something. Especially because I don't want to have to watch their Hipster Love unfold for the next few weeks. Dan's so unappealing these days - like he's ultra tired and no longer creative. Did you know that in the books, he was an aspiring poet? I just found out from Wikipedia. Also he questioned his sexuality? Yes?????
  • Nate fetches Chuck's phone and is a horrible liar, of course. Blair is so many steps ahead of Nate, it's ridiculous. It's like he's a baby and she's a 40-year-old. Or it's like Blair and Chuck are the mom and dad, and Nate is the happy dog.
  • This NYU Party. This is a huge issue for me. The partygoers are fully costumed an hour before the party starts (which is much earlier than the actual arrival time of any college partygoer). The party seems to be taking up most of the sunlit day (if the cross-cut Chuck storyline is contemporaneous), and there are only 7 extras there, and they're drinking out of colored novelty glasses with umbrellas in them. I don't think I've been to a party that put-together in my entire life, and I have friends with pools in their backyards. And a novelty photo-wall with cut-out heads? Student Council much?
  • Vanessa's date is gay, and I thought we already went over this in the Constance School production of Vanity Fair (was that what it was?), when Serena fell for the gay director.
  • As Rufus yells at Jenny, he brings out the full "Jennifer." Whoaoa, she's in trouble! At least he didn't bring in the "Tallulah" part.
  • During the family-trap lunch, Serena gives the waiter a hard time about bringing out their drinks and bread. (a) It's nice to see rich people treat waiters badly, because you get to glimpse reality there, and (b) Blair retorts, "you haven't eaten bread since middle school." Hilarious, also very real. Except we saw them on a bread & salad date last week.
  • Another Prediction Correct: Chuck writes out a check before his mother says one word to him. "If it's all the same to you, why don't we skip to the end of the story?" I sure do wish she had torn it up, though. Although that might have been too much.
  • Did anyone else notice how much Jenny's eyelids fluttered when she claimed the pills as hers? I was pretty sure she was about to faint.
  • It's hard to tell whether Lily bought Damian's story. She clearly didn't, but her face was so convinced. Hm!
  • Did Jenny just say, "I may be a bitch, but I'm not a li'l bitch?" What does that mean?
  • Remember last week, when it was crossing the line for Blair to go see Fisher alone? Now Serena's doing it. She's got power and no one can deny it. If she wants to have a one-on-one with your estranged mother, she most certainly will.
  • At least their talk uncovered Bart's true feelings towards his son: He loved him! Hooray!
  • Vanessa and Dan finally agree that they're "ruining [their] friendship by not hooking up." Such emotional intelligence there. Such eager convincing.
  • Why on earth is Rufus breaking up the family? It's like getting back together with Lily doesn't register as Adult Marriage for him. They're just teenagers again, running away from each other and kissing other people. They do have some children to take care of, right? How often can Jenny get uprooted? Are they trying to spur on another raccoon eyes period?
  • There's a red light coming into Blair and Chuck's room - is this his hotel's Red Light District suite? Quel romantique!
  • Vanya is Jerry from Heavyweights. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I do know I'll be mentioning it everyday for the rest of my life from now on. Vanya...is...Jerry. COME ON, YOU DEVIL LOG!
  • Serena gets closure on her father issues by calling him to tell him off. Isn't the idea of closure that it doesn't matter what the other person gets out of it? I thought the main idea was that you are through with it, so much that you don't have to have the last word. I guess you sometimes have to call to get there. Except this call will only beckon Baldwin van der Woodsen closer...to my extreme delight.
  • Chuck and his mom sit down together and smile. That's warming. Once when I worked at Starbucks, I saw a 12-year old boy crack his mother up. It was really, really great to see.
  • But then Blair turned and smiled at the camera like the credits of That Girl. Blair, you'll find your groove again someday. At least you're not wearing berets anymore.
Further predictions for the episode to come:
  • I notice that Jenny will clearly be losing her virginity to this Damian fellow. I called this long ago but foolishly didn't publish my prediction. Let us hope that she doesn't get pregnant with the spawn of satan.
  • Serena's dad won't be here next week, but the episode will be all about his communication with Lily about his plans to come back. This will further enrage Rufus with jealousy. It's times like these I wish Lily's 80s spinoff worked, because I gotta know what went on between Rufus and Serena/Eric's dad. It was probably harsh.
  • Dan and Vanessa will be very, very boring. Their couple name will be Danessa. See? Boring already.
  • Nate and Serena ought to get into some trouble. Maybe they can start working on how to get Damian out of the picture. Or they could just keep doing it all the time, further angering the Committee of Parents Who Hate the TV I Watch.
  • Chuck and his mom - what's going on here? Is it a long-con? Is she going to make a power play for the Bass Empire? Did she have a past with Lily or Rufus? Will Jenny latch on to her, as she's the only interested parent around? Or will Jenny latch on to Serena's dad, only to get into the second worst romantic relationship of her life?
  • Rufus, Vanessa, stop kidding yourselves. Let's just see where it goes.
That's it! Thanks for reading my thoughts on Gossip Girl. You know you love them. xoxo, etc.

No comments:

Post a Comment