After a very long cold open about the popularity of health care reform, ZG had the best monologue I've ever seen. "It's great to be back hosting SNL...no?" He came up with 7 or 8 hilarious explanations for his costume ("lighthouse keeper," "homeless professor"), then hopped on the piano for even more hilarity. He ended by proclaiming that "Hoobastank is here!" Tell me, who is as effortlessly funny as ZG? No one. To prove it, I'll copy/paste a few of the notes I took during the monologue:
"that is hilarious. why is he so funny? ... He makes me laugh so much!... THIS IS THE BEST SNL THERE'S EVER BEEN. at the piano he just keeps saying funny stuff. It's amazing."
Immediately following the monologue, there's the hugest Hey Jenny alert of the year - she's the unsuspecting girlfriend brought to meet the Make Out Family this time around. This iteration was better than ever. They moved the family to a Greek Orthodox funeral, and literally a thousand new amazing ideas came out of it. Bill Hader french kissed a dog (like the dog from Eloise), Fred Armisen french kissed a corpse, and Jenny Slate made some FUNNY faces. The Vogelczecks have a family motto: "Never say you're sorry, and never admit you're wrong." Just watch it!
Oh man, next was the bidet sketch, and my raucous laughter continued. Two very reserved, high-class individuals (ZG and Wiig) asked a bellhop (Samberg) several discrete questions about the bidet in their luxury suite. They were trying to keep their horrible plans secret from the bellhop, but it was clear that they were up to something both weird and dependent on a functional bidet. Bidet!
ZG has been on television for a long time, as documented in a montage of him appearing on every show in history. Trust me, it was hilarious. It also came in handy after the commercial break, when Kathie Lee brought him in from outside the Today Show studio to set him up with Hoda. This was the funniest Kathie Lee sketch there's been in a long time. She talked about dressing up her Franzia box as Frank, and sang "nobody knowwws the differrrrrence" to the tune of Carly Simon's eternal Bond hit. Tasers had no effect on her. THIS IS THE GREATEST SNL OF THE ENTIRE SEASON!
Vampire Weekend, I watched all of you. Wow!
Weekend Update Update:
- Becky loves a great LOST reference, plus Becky still wants healthcare reform
- "It's not often you find someone in Washington willing to pose for his own political cartoon."
- Kenan did a guest spot as Monique and this is the best he's ever looked.
- They obtained the audio from a recent goat chase and it's the Benny Hill song
- Will Forte was a fan of Women's Herstory Month and sang a really well constructed song about Women's Herstory and how much the high schools who wouldn't buy the rights to it are jerks. This is just one of Will Forte's amazing fortes.
Vampire Weekend Update: still great. I have long wondered if the drummer was the mystery man from my Columbia University Umbrella Story: I was walking back from a sociology class in the rain when suddenly an umbrella opened over me. The guy holding it said it looked like I could use the umbrella. His name was Chris, and he walked me back to my dorm. I said thanks, then promptly forgot his face and never got his last name. I have hated myself for years for not being able to figure out who this person was. And all I'm saying is, the drummer's name is Chris. Could be?
The final sketch of the night was a Pageant Dad's talk show. Jenny Slate played ZG's braindead daughter, and Kristen Wiig was his angry, ashtray-throwing beard. It's worth a watch, and I'll post the link as soon as I can find it.
There is no way I could possibly decide on my favorite line of the night. Suffice it to say that Zach Galifianakis is the funniest man on earth, and literally everything he said was my favorite. And what luck: I just found out John Lutz is married, so it looks like there's a new opening in my crush department. Yoo hoo, Zach!