A block party's brewing in the Governor's utopia: cold iced teas, foldable lawn chairs, and toothless little zombie girls whose brains come out in chunks when their dads brush their hair. Happy Veterans' Day to you, too, fellow survivors! It's a fine day in Woodbury!
Over at the prison, Hershel's got a diagnosis: that newborn baby needs formula. So Daryl and Maggie go on a run to the local preschool, and it's one hell of a trip. First of all, Daryl's wearing a pretty heavy-duty poncho and I'm into it. He sees a little construction-paper leaf that says "Sophie" and it's a bummer. Then they find a possum in the pantry and it's a fat, crazy marsupial. The entire time I'm on the edge of my seat just waiting for a toddler zombie to jump on one of their heads, teeny legs flailing around for leverage, miniature teeth chomping wildly.
While they're gone, Rick picks up an ax and obliterates one million zombies inside the prison. [Spoiler alert] I was hoping the tv show would do something with what happens in the comic book when Tyreese destroys a gymful of zombies, and I guess this is it. But in the comics it felt like the guy had finally gotten through something, whereas here it feels like just the beginning of Rick's problems. [End of spoiler alert]. Man oh man what a psycho move.
Michonne's finally had enough of Stinkville, USA. She marches into the Governor's quarters and steals back her katana. She also finds a notebook that contains a list of names that eventually turn into thousands of tally marks. Either tally marks or blades of grass doodles. Just then, Philip the Governor, Milt the Scientist, and Merle the Asshole walk in! Michonne escapes through the window.
Outside, Michonne finds herself in a courtyard she's never seen before. It's a zombie basketball court, and the zombies are all locked up in the equipment shed. This is like field day for Michonne, who frees all the zombies at once and assassinates them like a complete and total boss. Josh thought we were saying "Miss Shawn" for the first 4 episodes of this season.
The Governor immediately finds her and starts feeding her all sorts of lines about how he was just about to give her the katana back and how he wants her to be part of his "research team." She still doesn't buy it, somehow, and FINALLY Michonne is ready to leave. BUT IS ANDREA READY TO LEAVE? SOMEBODY TELL ME IF ANDREA STILL FEELS THE SAME WAY SHE'S BEEN FEELING FOR 4 EPISODES!!!!!!! I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!
Andrea feels the same way she's been feeling for 4 episodes: not ready to leave Woodbury. She humors Michonne and approaches the gate with her just to prove that they aren't prisoners. In classic Merle fashion, he swings the door wide open and dares them to leave in a tone of voice that suggests he's about to hunt them down like deer. Michonne accepts the dare. Andrea hangs out.
Merle and Milt the Scientist run out to a zombie trap they've laid to collect a few replacement walkers (since Michonne killed theirs). They have a whole system for it - duct tape covered jackets, neck grabber-sticks, and huge nets - and it looks like they've come up with the genius idea of removing each zombie's teeth. Michonne, where were you on that one? Cutting off an entire bottom jaw is one way to keep a walker from biting, but taking out all of its teeth is almost elegant. And at least that way there isn't still a creepy set of top teeth just waiting for a chance to sink into your arm.
The Governor moseys over to Andrea and tells her he's got something to show her. Not with this lighting, pal! It's all golden and glowy in the middle of the night, and you know that means something unnatural is about to go down. You can imagine what Andrea must be thinking: "Stupid old Michonne, always trying to get me to- YIKES! YUCK! OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP ANDREA YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME." Because the evening entertainment is a human wrestling match in a zombie ring. There are zombies all around the perimeter of a WWE-style fake fight between Merle and some dude. Soon enough, their chains are loosened and they scooch in even closer to the fighting. Their teeth may be gone, but I still expect to see a zombie put his entire mouth over Merle's face and eat it off somehow. Please?
Back at the prison, Daryl and Maggie return triumphantly with 2 canisters of powdered baby formula. Since Rick isn't around and I guess it's against Hershel's hippocratic oath to feed a child, Daryl picks up the bottle and gives it to the new baby. "The baby's gonna think Daryl's its dad!!!" cries Colin, my roommate and go-to Nature expert. Papa Daryl wants to name it "Li'l Ass Kicker." DARYLLLLL!
Rick finds the room where Lori gave birth, but her corpse is missing. From here I will simply paste from my notes:
is she a zombie after all? what? he's going to kiss her blood. yikes. what is that? a tooth? what is it? not happening! what is this? who is it, a dude? oh I guess this [fat zombie] ate her? he gorged himself on her? now rick's going to cut lori out of his belly after he killed the dude? this guy's crazy now. he's just crazy now. this is insane. is that her hair in his mouth? rick's doing a c-section of his own! I guess now he's just stabbing lori.So that happened. Then, naturally, a phone rings. Rick looks at it like "who could that be?" I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK!
Addendum: Apparently the gang thinks Carol is dead, too. Daryl puts a Cherokee Rose on her grave and everything. She is like your lost child, Daryl, you mom-loving poncho-wearing lil-ass-kicking freak!
photos courtesy amctv.com
No comments:
Post a Comment