04 November 2013

Walking Dead Recap: There Is No "Indifference" In The Entire Episode

I don't want to do this, but:


noun \in-ˈdi-fərn(t)s, -f(ə-)rən(t)s\
: lack of interest in or concern about something : an indifferent attitude or feeling

There was absolutely no indifference in last night's Walking Dead. If anything, every character cares too much about other people's business. Daryl gets in D'Angelo Barksdale's face about his latent alcoholism, Michonne (who barely spoke last season) keeps initiating heart-to-hearts with Tyreese, and Rick and Carol spend way too much time chatting up suspiciously benign hippies. I guess if I were in a Zombiepocalypse flu outbreak, I'd want to focus on stupid minutia too. Like why the HELL this zombie is french-braiding my hair instead of FISHTAIL-BRAIDING IT! I WOULD ONLY CARE ABOUT BRAIDS!!!

As Rick and Carol pack for their day trip, Carol's new charge (Lizzie,the one who makes friends with zombies) presents an idea that seems like it will color the rest of the episode: zombies may be different from living humans, but they're still something. It's a thought that reminds me of Rick's old "look at every zombie's freaking drivers license after you kill it so you can remember it was human once, too" deal. Where Rick's policy is sort of obsolete (there are just too many zombies and there's nothing to do for them but kill them), Lizzie's is more of a present need. She's the child version of the creepy season premiere lady who couldn't kill her zombified husband('s head). You know if Carol didn't stab her dead dad's skull, Lizzie would have kept him as a pet. Somehow this doesn't come into play for the rest of the episode, but it's an idea that keeps popping up throughout the series.

Somehow Daryl's gang has eluded the unstoppable 4-figure-large zombie herd they ran right into last week. And somehow, even more unbelievably, Tyreese is still weighing everyone down with jackassery. He won't leave their rest-stop creek even though everyone else is ready to go. He hacks away at the kudzu covering a gas station without realizing he's hacked through a wire that keeps a door shut, and before you know it, three zombies attack the scavengers through the kudzu. Tyreese is becoming as big a liability as Carol, and he can do much more damage. He even makes Michonne, who's made so much progress and is smiling all the time now, renew her anger at the Governor. Thanks for all your help, Tyreese!!!!!

Of the four people who used to live and work at the $4.377 gas station, only three come through the kudzu. The last seems to have been crushed by a ceiling fan and noose inside the convenience store. It's unclear whether the hanging was successful, but it's an unstated picture of yet another zombiepocalypse fatality, and you just gotta love those.

Rick and Carol run into an extremely questionable hippie couple in a nearby neighborhood, and I'm not ok with any of it. After a zombie lady tumbles down the stairs to Carol's feet, two living people venture out of the bathroom? They've been living in a bathroom for days while one free-range zombie shuffles around, and they've still got FRUIT to offer? A) Where'd they get the fruit? B) Why didn't they eat it already - are they THAT good at rationing? C) What was their plan, to stay in the bathroom with their neverending fruit for eternity? Instead of asking any of these very germane questions, Rick asks his questions three, like a troll.

Carol un-dislocates Mr. Hippie's shoulder, which she learned how to do from the internet back when she was a battered wife. As a thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Hippie want to help fetch crap from neighbors' houses, even though they're probably just going to look for meth and then take naps on the driveway. Ultimately, only Mrs. Hippie ends up on the driveway as zombies feast on her flesh. They've somehow cut her leg clean off back at the gate where Rick and Carol watch, but I'm not sure A) how or B) why they wouldn't eat that, too. PS Rick had given Mrs. Hippie a gun, so THAT'S GONE TOO NOW.

By the end of Rick and Carol's nonadventure with currently-dead-or-missing hippies, he sends her packing. Not Yes without her daughters. He simply doesn't feel safe with her in the camp, since she's so willing to murder innocent humans with such short-haired consideration. And he's pretty sure Tyreese will kill her when he finds out, and boy oh boy will he find out. Rick's gonna tell everybody. Look, I'm as happy as anyone to see Carol go - but how many original group members do we have to lose? And if we're going to get Carol back, it'll either be because A) she comes back just in time to save the prison during a time of chaotic catastrophe or B) she gave Rick a watch that might make him get sentimental later on. Both options are lame, as she could never pull off a prison-save, and as watches are stupid emotional plot devices.

Having found a new battery and hot wired the ol' gas station minivan, Daryl and his crew find the veterinary college Hershel told them about.  D'Angelo Barksdale admits to Daryl that he's an alcoholic, but I have to say, he seems like the kind of alcoholic EVERYONE would be in this situation. He needs help sleeping. He has basically nothing to live for. He's in constant danger, which gives him constant anxiety. Drink away, buddy! That's what I'd do. But when Daryl finds out about D'Angelo's pilfered whiskey (some sauced vet professor kept a stash in his desk), he flips a shit.

Here's what I would flip a shit about: why nobody in this God-forsaken group can close a door behind them when they're being chased by zombies. There are so many opportunities to just CLOSE THE DOOR, and the gang misses ALL OF THEM. The one time they try to close a door, it's busted. I swear I'm gonna lose it, guys. So help me.

After all of this, all of the foolhardy hippie-befriending, all of the non-door-closing, all of the reckless Tyreese-being, the one thing the gang agrees on as an unforgivable offense is mild alcoholism. Everyone's pissed at D'Angelo Barksdale for swiping a half-full bottle of whiskey. If that demon drink keeps them from safely ferrying these dog antibiotics back to prison, D'ANGELO BARKSDALE WILL HAVE HELL TO PAY.

PS Daryl's going to be so pissed when he finds out about Carol!

All photos courtesy amctv.com

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